


Battle Lines.

by WhatTheWentz



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Aliens, Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Murder, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Self-Harm, extreme knowlege, sort of canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:33:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4802975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatTheWentz/pseuds/WhatTheWentz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto Jones faces what could be possibly the most difficult battle of his life when a creature begins to control his thoughts, implanting ones of self hatred there.  These creatures move around the world unseen, and only a mysterious (and possibly psychotic) woman named 'M' seems to have the information and knowledge to help save Ianto from himself, and his boyfriend Jack Harkness is willing to give up anything to save him.  But who is M?  Is she truly there to help defeat the creatures, or does she have an ulterior motive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after 2.05 "Adam" but before 2.06 "Reset". M is slightly based off Malachai Parker from The Vampire Diaries, but is her own woman. Sorry the characters (Ianto in particular) are a bit OOC, this is my first proper full Torchwood story rather than one shot.  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Nikki xx

_** 3rd December 1997. ** _

__

“Mommy?” a small, dark haired child called into the night as the dimly lit candle beside the window began to flicker absently, warnings of the dissipating flame reflecting in her eyes.

 

The young girl was only ten years of age, and they were staying in their cabin in the countryside.  She was originally from Cardiff, although her parents were both of Scottish origin, and the accent remained strong within her.  The flame danced beside her as she searched for any sign of her mother, whom had went out to collect firewood over two hours previous.  Cold seeped into the cabin, and she shivered.

 

A shorter, blonde girl came up behind her, her arms crossed over her chest, blue eyes gazing over the darkened horizon, unable to comprehend what was happening, her youth retaining her innocence like a force-field, her face smooth and without the worry lines the girl next to her carried.

 

“Elizabeth!  Nina!” a voice rang from within the home, and the sound of heavy footsteps grew nearer from behind them, “Come away from the door now, girls, your mother will be fine.  You’re letting the cold air in, and I, quite frankly, do not want to be a snowman.”

 

The dark haired girl whined, turning towards him, “But daddy!”

 

“But nothing, young lady.” he shut the door in front of her, “In.  Now.”

 

The girl huffed in annoyance, shooting a look towards the other girl, “Tell him, Lizzie!”

 

“Oh, leave your sister alone, lass.” her father picked up the blonde, “She’s only six years old, and you’re treating her like a secret weapon.”

 

Elizabeth whimpered into his neck, “Some’fings w’ong.” her ability to talk was dampered by a wave of cold fear that sunk into her veins, “Daddy… Some’fing’s w’ong.”

 

“It’ll be alright, children.” he put down Elizabeth carefully, knowing all too well how brittle the bones of a child were -- oh, the things that Robert McAldred had seen in his life -- such horrors, “Daddy is always prepared.”

 

The girls followed him as he ventured into his study, opening a drawer and pulling out something curved, metallic and fear inducing.  In his hand, he held a pistol.  Expertly, his palm tightened around it, weighing it in his hands, testing it.

 

He smirked -- he was ready for anything.  He flashed his smile towards his daughters before putting the gun into a gap in his belt, no holster with him.

 

“I’m going to find your mother, girls, don’t you worry.  Stay here.” he promised, kissing each girl lovingly on the forehead before grabbing his coat and pulling it on.

 

He opened the door, then disappeared out into the dark, his silhouette disappearing as it reached the woods, leaving the two girls scared and alone in the house.  Elizabeth let out a high-pitched whimper, about to step out into the night herself before she was pulled harshly back by her sister.

 

“No, you idiot!  Dad’s going t’find mum, okay?” the elder’s voice was sharp, taking on a ring of commandment, dark, doe-like eyes filled with an unfamiliar amount of disdain, making Elizabeth all the more scared, “There’s nowt out there, okay?  Your childish imagination is just playing on you.”  
  


The blonde frowned, a silence passing between the two for a few, fleeting seconds before she uttered a single word, “Monster.”  
  


“Monsters don’t exist, stupid!” the elder girl’s voice was filled with irritation and condescendance, making the younger whimper when she pushed the door closed, “We’ll just wait until daddy returns, okay?” she grabbed the younger’s wrist, seeing her snap her head up, cobalt eyes filled with terror, “Okay, mite?”  
  


No reply.

  
Nina sighed, tugging on her sister’s arm hard enough to dislodge her from her position, dragging her into the living room and pushing her onto the ground whilst she clambered up onto the couch, crossing her arms as her gaze was transfixed onto the clock upon the wall.  Elizabeth turned on the television, an old episode of The Looney Tunes appearing onto the small, 18 inch screen.

 

Nina exhaled, the blaring sound of Bugs Bunny giving a pointless bit of dialogue distracting her, “Can you turn that down please, mite?”

 

“Daddy said you’re not to call me that!” pouted Elizabeth.

 

Nina retorted, tone dripping with venom, “Well, daddy isn’t here, is he?  Now turn the stupid thing down, okay, mite?”

 

Normally, Nina would enjoy a good cartoon, but with the sinking feeling that burned in her gut, she couldn’t exactly laugh at an animated rabbit being chased with a gun by a middle aged idiot, could she?

 

“‘m bored, Nina!” squawked Elizabeth, turning off the television.

 

Nina rolled her eyes, “You’re really annoying, mite.  Entertain your bloody self!”

 

“You said an angry word!” the blonde gasped, “I’m telling.”  
  


The brunette exhaled, “‘Bloody’ is hardly an ‘angry word’, mite.”

 

“Tell me a story about daddy’s work!” Elizabeth clapped.

 

Nina cried, “You know I’m not supposed to!  Dad would have my head if he knew!”

 

“You said he wasn’t here.” Elizabeth’s lower lip wobbled, “Please, Nina!” she pleaded, “Just one, and then, I promise, I’ll go to bed.  Just one, please!”

 

Nina huffed, raising her hands in surrender, “Fine!  Just one.  Christ, you’re annoying.”

 

“Yay!” Elizabeth bounced up and down, landing harshly on her own rear each time.

 

Nina shushed her, “Silence now, mite.” the blonde nodded, quieting herself, “Okay.  Our dad isn’t like any other dad.  He’s a secret agent, working for a top secret team called Torchwood, who get to deal with really bad people, like evil murderers and supervillains who are trying to take over the world.” the sides of her mouth twitched up in a smile, “He saves lives every day, and nobody thanks him.  One day, he was facing this man who had killed thirteen different people, tore them apart with his bare hands.  This man, he’s butt ugly and super strong, but our daddy, he whips out a gun and shoots him square in the head, killing him instantly.  Our dad’s a hero, Liz, he’s a superhero.  He’s killed all the bad guys, faced some of the worst creatures you can imagine.  He’s so brave, and at the end of the day, he comes home to us.”

 

“Can I be a secret agent too?” asked Elizabeth, big eyes shining in the faint light of their living room.

 

The brunette let out a cruel laugh, “I’m afraid you have to be big and strong to become like our dad, mite.  You’re… just not.”

 

“Awh.” Elizabeth frowned, “You’re mean.” fear filled her eyes, “What… What if the bad men come for me?”

 

Nina scoffed a laugh, “Then you’ll have to run very fast.” she saw the look of desperation upon her sister’s face, “Look, mite, I’m only kidding.  You know I’ll protect you.  You’re my wee sister, okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Elizabeth gave a slightly forced smile, “I’m your wittle sister.”  
  


Nina swiftly changed the subject, “Dad’s been out there a while.” she looked back up at the clock, “Nearly an hour.  Where is he?  I hope he and mum are alright.”

 

“Nina?” Elizabeth’s tiny voice murmured, “Do you really want to protect me?”

 

Nina sighed, “You’re my wee sister.” she crawled down onto the floor beside Elizabeth, “You’re really annoying, but I do love you.” she saw the look of uncertainty upon her sister’s face, “One second.” she leapt up and ran into their parents’ room, opening her mother’s jewellery box and fishing out two identical pendant necklaces before running back and handing her sister one, “There you go, mite.”  
  


“But these are mummy’s…” stated Elizabeth with confusion.

 

Nina gave a cheeky smile, “Don’t worry, she won’t miss them.  Our mummy hardly ever wears jewellery anymore.” she asked, “Do you want me to put it on, mite?”

 

“Yes please!” the blonde chirped.

 

Nina knelt behind Elizabeth, lifting her blonde mane of curls, then clasping the necklace which held a chunky blue stone on it, “Done.” she said, dropping the younger’s hair, then putting on her own necklace before once again, worryingly casting her glare towards the clock.

 

“Is mummy okay, do you fink?” asked Elizabeth, who also looked towards the clock, despite being unable to read it.

 

Nina shrugged, “Do you want to go check?”

 

“Daddy said for us to stay here though!” Elizabeth looked clearly conflicted, her brow furrowing, thick, childish lips pressed together in a frown.

 

Nina rolled her eyes, “Fine then, if you want to stay here like a chicken, do it, but I’m going to find mum and dad.”

 

She got to her feet, walking over to the coat hanger and grabbing her red parka, pulling it on, her necklace obscured by the fabric, part of the chain visible, then her socks and boots.  Her dark eyes flicked to the candle, where the flame had died, melted wax like the remains left when ice cream had been eaten.

 

“Nina, wait!” called a voice from behind her, and she turned to see Elizabeth run over, grabbing her own coat and pulling it on, along with her socks and shoes.

 

Both girls also put on a hat and some red gloves, not really caring for fashion due to their age.  They exchanged a look before Nina opened the door, wind instantly smashing against their small bodies.  Elizabeth gave a tiny shudder before they both walked out, seeing that despite it being sinfully cold, it was a clear night, no rain, no snow, nothing.  Their boots crushed some leaves as they began to walk into the woods, fear sneaking into the two children’s veins, ears nipped with the cold air.

 

“I almost forgot it was December.” breathed Nina, shivering, “Now I remember.” she began to stroll down the pathway in the woods, “Keep up, Lizzie!”

 

The smaller girl breathlessly ran after her, “Slow down, Nina… ‘m scared.”  
  


“Chicken.” teased the brunette, looking back as her sister tried to keep up with her, “Come on, mite, race you!”

 

The blonde whimpered, her hair white as snow in the moonlight, “I don’t want to race.  I want-- I want to go back, please, Nina.  I don’t like this.”

 

“Go back, then, scaredy cat.” Nina walked further ahead, stopping when she felt something drip onto her forehead, “Maybe we should head back actually, it’s raining.” she turned to her sister and saw that she was completely dry, “What?  How are you dry?”

 

Elizabeth counter-asked, noting something strange upon her sister’s forehead, “Are you bleeding?”

 

“No…” Nina brought a finger to her forehead to dab in the liquid that had gathered there, then pulled away to see what it was.

 

She gasped lightly when she saw it was a crimson colour -- blood.  Regretting it instantly, she looked up to the tree where she was splashed from, then released a chilling scream of terror when she saw the bodies of her father and mother, both with the skin on their faces flayed, a massive tear in both throats that wept blood.  Tears welled in her eyes as she continued to scream, backing away from the corpses, into her sister, knocking her over, seeing confusion upon her face.

 

“What is it, Nina?” asked the blonde innocently, yet afraid, “What’s wrong?”

 

Nina shuddered in terror, feeling sick to her stomach, “M-Mum and-and dad…”

 

“What about them?” Elizabeth was scared to see her braver older sister this traumatised.

 

The brunette attempted to explain, “T-They…” her eyes stopped dead on a shadow that seemed to tremble, or laugh, “Oh, no… They’re…”

 

“They’re gone.” a voice bitterly laughed, and a figure stepped from the shadows, draped in black robes, face twisted and terrifying, eyes completely soulless and black, “They’re dead.”

 

Elizabeth turned to the figure, “Who are yo--” she was cut off when the person -- and that term was used loosely -- grabbed her, hand curving around her mouth, stopping sound from escaping.

 

“Lizzie!” cried Nina, getting to her feet, tears flooding from her eyes, “No!”

 

The figure’s mouth twisted into a sickening grin and then he stepped back, disappearing into the shadows, leaving Nina sobbing and screaming, the necklace she was wearing now seeming to choke her.

 

_You know I’ll protect you._

 

The words repeated like a playground chant in the child’s head, and she released a cry of utter anguish, unable to cope with what just happened.  She didn’t understand.  Was it one of her father’s enemies?  She knew that he was working a dangerous job, but that-- that man, he just disappeared in the shadows.  Her heart raced in her chest as the tears began to freeze upon her cheeks, like the blood in her veins.

  
_I’ll protect you._

She had _failed_.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter One

**_23rd March 2007._ **

****

As Ianto Jones walked into the Torchwood Hub, fiddling with his tie, he overheard whoops and laughter from inside, and he had to duck out of the way of an incoming basketball missile being fired from his co-worker Owen Harper, shooting an annoyed glare his way after he did so.

 

“Sorry, Ianto!” the Englishman called, trying to laugh it off.  
  


The Welshman exhaled, “Next time, Owen, aim for the basket.  God, you’re no Shaquille O’Neal, are you?”

  
“Didn’t know you were such a sports expert,” Owen teased, “Thought you were only an expert on how Jack’s dick works.”

 

Ianto rolled his eyes, “Whatever.  Plus, I am allowed a hobby, aren’t I?  Mine has to be general knowledge.”

 

“Ianto!” Jack called, “Thanks for finally joining us!  Owen, quit messing around and get back to work!”

 

Ianto replied to his boss and special friend, “I slept in, sir.  Sorry.  Alarm clock ran out of battery, had to replace them, and I was shattered after…” he stopped, seeing his all his co-workers look bizarrely intruiged, “Um… you know.”  
  


“I know.” Jack grinned, walking over, “That was mutually tiring, and besides, I did all the work.”  
  


Toshiko Sato, the technician of the team attempted to end the awkward segment, “Jack, please.  Spare us the details.”  
  


“Awh, fine.” Jack faux pouted, then turned to Ianto, “How about you make some of your special blend coffee, and we’ll discuss our extracurricular life later on, Ianto?” he gave a Hollywoodesque wink, laughing.

 

The Welshman’s face burned as he gave a short nod, walking past all his co-workers, hearing Gwen Cooper, one of the ones who was supposed to be ex-police and serious, giggle, then retreated to the coffee maker.  He hated Jack sometimes -- he was such an arrogant asshole, who didn’t really care about other people’s insecurities.  So what if Ianto was too nervous to share the explicit details of his… complicated relationship with Jack?  He was the boss, and he sure as hell didn’t mind saying it, despite it being embarrassing and derogatory and just plain douchey.

 

Ianto found himself cursing to himself quietly in Welsh, then became silent, fixating his concentration upon his coffee making.  He was good at that.  Coffee making.  Alas, even as he was making Jack’s special blend, he couldn’t help his mind from wandering to how he felt about his boss.  He couldn’t quite explain his feelings for Captain Jack Harkness -- whilst he knew he felt passionately about him, he also didn’t know who he really was, which was a damper upon the relationship.  What kind of name was Captain Jack Harkness anyways?  Although Ianto was aware it wasn’t Jack’s name, it belonged to an army Captain from 1941 who died, it still sounded like some kind of silly pirate name.

 

Ianto turned to see nobody else needed a coffee or tea, each of the workers had a steaming cup of liquid upon their work stations, so he picked up the heated cup, it slightly burning his hand as he delivered it to Jack, deciding that he himself did not want one.

 

His boss grinned as he took the mug from Ianto, sighing after he took a sip, looking dreamily towards the younger man, “Mm.  I love you, you know that, Ianto Jones?  You are amazing.”  
  


Ianto couldn’t help the blush that ran across his face at that, but he forced back the almost teenager giggle that almost escaped him -- almost.  He turned away from Jack, about to walk over to go and visit Janet the bloody Weevil or something, when the sound of a phone ringing caught his attention.

 

Doing his job, he rushed up the stairs to reception, answering after quickly getting irritated by the incessant ringing noise.

 

“Hello?” he spoke politely, like he always did on the phone.

 

A woman replied on the phone, a distinct non-Welsh accent clear, “This is the Torchwood Hub, yes?”

 

“Yes, it is.” Ianto replied, “Who’s this?”

 

The woman laughed dryly, “That’s not really your business, lad.  But I’m calling to report a double murder and kidnapping.”

 

“There hasn’t been any police--”

 

The woman interjected, a lilt of humor to her voice, “That’s because it only just happened.  I witnessed it.”

 

“Did you cause it?” Ianto got to his feet.

 

The woman yet again laughed, “Lord, no.  I’m no killer.  At least not to the good folk.”

 

“Where are you?” asked Ianto, taking a pen and paper out, “We’ll come out as soon as possible.”

 

The woman drawled, “I could be anywhere.  Everywhere.  I could be in the room with you right now, in fact.” Ianto straightened, blue eyes flying in a panic across the room, shaking hand dropping the pen, “Relax, I’m kidding.  God, you’re gullible.” she exhaled, “I’m in the woods, you know in the countryside, the one where those cannibal folk attempted to eat you all.”

 

“How do you know about that?” Ianto’s voice rose an octave in slight fear, “Who are you?  Stop playing games with me!”  
  


The woman’s voice became serious, “I’m not playing… Ianto Jones.” he could hear the smirk return in her speech as she said his name.

 

“How the fuck do you know my name?” he practically shouted, and Jack came up the stairs, confused.

  
He mouthed, ‘You okay?’ and Ianto replied by nodding and giving a thumbs up before returning to his call.

 

The woman began to state random facts about Ianto, “Ianto Jones, Torchwood operative, sister Rhiannon Davies who has children Mica and David, ex-girlfriend Lisa who worked at Torchwood One, upgraded into cyberwoman, terminated by your current boyfriend Jack Harkness.  Parents deceased, broke your arm in the park when your father pushed you off the swing.  Am I missing anything?  Do tell.  I’ve got everything about you memorised, blue eyes.”

 

“Who the hell are you and how do you know so much about me?” grumbled Ianto.

 

The woman barked a laugh, “First of all, your security is shit.  Tell dear Toshiko that I managed to hack it within a minute.  And you can call me… M.  Or Ripper, but that’s only because I adore the murderer Jack the Ripper, such… precision… such ingenuity.  Unlike your Jack, who just is a blundering, idiotic ape.  Nah, just go with M.”

 

Ianto almost shrieked in frustration, “Who the hell are you?  That’s not a name!”

 

M ignored him, “This has happened before.  Actually, rather often, too often, but it’s always case closed because this thing is damn smart, it gets into the police’s head.  It’s like it’s got some kind of perception filter against life, it can hide the deaths.  But it happened to one of your operatives.  Check his file.  Robert McAldred, murdered in 1997 alongside his wife.  Youngest child Elizabeth missing and presumed dead, other child Nina offed herself in 2004 by jumping in front of a lorry.”

 

“I’ve never heard of him.” Ianto was confused -- he almost, kind of recognised the name, he knew everyone who ever worked in Torchwood, but it was like there was fog in his brain, drowning out anything about him, and he couldn’t even control his mouth.

 

M laughed bitterly, “I thought not.  Seriously, search the files.  Hell, ask your boyfriend, he’ll know the lad.  At least, he should.  He was the one who came to take the body.  Now, I’d hurry if I were you before I accidentally call the police, and this will once more be covered up, and it’ll come for you.”

 

“What’ll come for me?” asked Ianto, confused, and Jack’s brows knitted together in worry at that statement.

 

M’s voice lowered to a murmur, “The Shade.” then she laughed, “Cheerio.” there was a click as she hung up, then a long ringing tone.

 

“What is it, Ianto?” Jack came over, “Who was it?”

 

Ianto didn’t properly answer, putting down the phone, “Gather the team, we’ve got to go to the woods… The ones where--” flashbacks haunted him as he swallowed, “Where those people tried to kill the others and I.”

 

“Why?” Jack tried to grab his wrist, but Ianto pulled away from him, “What’s happened, Ianto?”

 

Ianto asked, “Who was Robert McAldred?”

  
“What’s Rob got to do with anything?” Jack looked confused, “He died years ago, you know that, Ianto.  We went over this.”

 

Ianto shook his head, “No, we didn’t.”

 

“Yes, we did.” Jack took his hand, “When you first came here, remember?  When I briefed you on the dangers of being here.  Ianto, are you okay?”

 

Ianto rubbed his temples frustratedly, “I’m fine.  It’s just… I can’t… I can’t remember… Oh, my head… I can’t think!”

 

“Who was it on the phone?” asked Jack, “Was it the police?”  
  


Ianto yet again shook his head, “Some psychopath called M.  Apparently there’s been a double murder kidnapping.  I… uh… I don’t know…”

 

“Ianto, calm down, you’re making me nervous.” Jack took his face between his hands when he started to mutter incomprehensibly, “Calm down.  Look, I’m not sure what Rob has to do with this.  He’s been dead for eleven years nearly.”  
  


Ianto exhaled, “Jack… He died in a double murder kidnapping, and then his daughter Nina killed herself.”

 

“Are you trying to say that history has repeated itself?” Jack wondered.

 

Ianto shrugged, “God knows how many times this has happened… G-Get the group… please.”

 

“Okay…” Jack released Ianto, “Okay.”

 

\--

 

Within minutes, the whole of the Torchwood Team were squashed into the van, Ianto sat next to Jack as he remembered spine-chilling words of M.  The Shade was apparently going to come for him if he didn’t hurry to the crime scene.  Ianto drummed his fingers against the dashboad, heart racing in his chest.

 

“Will you bloody stop that?” Gwen raised her voice, and Ianto stared back at her like a startled deer, “Sorry.”

 

Owen rolled his eyes, “What the fuck is up with him anyway?  Man’s acting like he’s going to take a fit or something!”  
  


“I’m sorry that I’m fucking scared!” Ianto projected his fear as anger and hatred towards his co-worker, “This thing is fucking messing with my head and dammit, I am terrified!  I can’t think!”

 

One of Jack’s hands rested on his knee after his outburst, “Ianto.” he said, and the Welshman released a shudder of fear, “You’re going to be okay.”

 

“What was the name of the Torchwood operative M mentioned?” Toshiko asked, her laptop in front of her.

 

Ianto stammered, “I can’t… R-Robert… I can’t remember!”

 

“Robert McAldred.” Jack stated, “Age thirty six, born in Aberdeen.  Gotta love a good old Scotsman!”

 

Tosh typed in Robert’s name and brought up his file, “That’s strange…” she murmured to herself, then elaborated in a louder volume, “Um… His files have been edited.”  
  


“What do they say?” asked Jack, his hand going back to the wheel.

 

Toshiko felt a rush of fear as she replied, “Play by the rules in my game…” she paused, then looked up, “Repeatedly.”

 

“That’s the Shade.” Ianto swallowed, “It knows we’re onto it.”

 

Owen groaned, “Oh, come on, Ianto, bloody hell.  Stop being such a drama que--”  
  


“Look out!” cried Gwen when she saw a blonde haired girl in the road.

  
Jack reacted as quickly as possible, twisting the wheel, forcing the car to swerve, almost crashing into a tree.  Everyone got out of the SUV, including a very shaky Ianto, who’s eyes wouldn’t leave the middle of the road, where a girl had once been standing.  The figure who had been standing was now gone, no trace of her ever being there.

 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Owen thought out loud, and was just saying what everyone else was thinking too.

 

Ianto turned, eyes going empty as he dragged his body into the woods, everyone staring after him in confusion.

 

“Where the hell is he-- Ianto!” Jack called, earning no reply, “I’ll go after him, you three look around, okay?”

 

They all gave a nod in response, and Jack followed after Ianto, who walked in a zombiesque fashion through the woods until he reached a path.

 

“Ianto?” Jack walked over to him, “What’s wrong?  Look at me!”

 

Ianto dropped to his knees, a drop of black fluid (if Jack didn’t know better, he’d say it was oil) running from his from his nose and dripping onto the ground beneath him.  Jack dropped beside him, putting his revolver in his pocket just in case, then he took Ianto’s face between his hands, groaning at the ‘blood’.

 

“Oh, my God…” he sighed, “Why you?  Why did it choose you?”

 

Ianto’s voice wavered as he said, “I’m scared, Jack.  I can see them.  The bodies… The blood.  Always one left behind and alive so he can claim their soul later.  The greatest test.”

 

“Ianto, you’re scaring me.” stated Jack, running his hand down the younger man’s arms, “God, you’re so cold.  You’re shaking.”

 

Ianto whimpered, “Death… So much death… Her sister, ripped into his arms and taken.  Always one left behind.  It’s so dark, so terrifying.” a sob broke from him, “I’m so scared of the dark, Jack…”

 

“Ianto…” Jack pulled him close, not quite understanding what was wrong with him, but knowing he needed comforting.

 

A drop of something landed in his hair, and he tapped the Bluetooth headset that was in his ear, saying, “Guys, it’s about time we should head back.  It’s starting to spit rain, and the equipment will get wet.”  
  


“Uh… no it isn’t.” Owen replied, “It’s dry as a bone, Jack.”

 

Jack gave a small laugh, “It’s raining, I felt it.”

 

“No it isn’t because we’re dry.” Owen retorted.

 

Ianto gasped, finally getting back some semblance of self, “Um… Jack?” his voice shook as he looked up.

 

“One second, Ianto.” Jack continued to argue with Owen, “I can tell you right now, it’s raining where I am.”  
  


Ianto’s voice raised in panic, eyes fixated upward, “No, seriously Jack, it isn’t!”

 

“What--” Jack’s eyes flew upward to see a faceless couple who had obviously been human less than two hours ago, blood still dripping from their throats, “Oh, my God.” he got to his feet, helping up Ianto and getting out of the way as the bodies slid to the ground with a wet flop.

 

Ianto gasped in horror, the gore too much for him to take, suddenly feeling nauseous at the sight, the eyeballs of the couple scooped out like an ice cream, teeth broken and damaged, lips and skin torn away, revealing the red fleshy membrane underneath.  It was difficult for the Welshman to determine what the cause of deaths were -- choking on their own blood as a knife was plunged into their throats, or bleeding from having a non-medical facelift.

 

He gave in and turned away, dropping to his knees, retching, but not able to bring anything up but the faint taste of coffee.

 

Jack was frozen in horror -- he could feel the blood in his hair, and shuddered.  He had seen so much, but this was pretty much new, the expessions of the couple lost when the face was stolen, but most likely one of fear and horror.  Just thinking of what they were like pre-death made Jack want to vomit, but luckily for him, he had a pretty strong stomach, unlike Ianto, who had tears pricking his eyes as he was almost sick on the apple-green grass.

 

“Jack?” Gwen’s voice called through the comms link, “We’ve found a little girl.  With a message from M.”

 

 


	3. Chapter Two

Ianto sat practically rocking himself, hearing Owen talking through the comms, but not truly listening.  The bodies that laid inches from the Welshman’s trembling form had their eyes wide open, and he couldn’t get the thoughts out of his head, the sick, morbid thoughts.  What was the last thing the victims saw?  Did they cry?  What were they thinking about?  Did they die instantly or did they suffer?

“Yeah, Owen.” Jack sighed, his ocean blues downcast, the image of the corpse slightly intruiging to him -- whilst he had a strong stomach, he still felt a twinge of disgust -- which thrilled him in a morbid way, “Meet you at the SUV.”

He always did get a thrill from this kind of thing.  Death.  The great sleep.  The one he could never know permanently.

The American-accented man knelt beside his boyfriend -- and he hated that label, labels sucked, “We’ve gotta head back to the SUV to meet this kid.  Ianto?” he saw the empty look that was backed by pain in Ianto’s eyes, “You listening?”  
  


“Th-They were just hanging.” Ianto’s voice wavered, “L-Like bloody Christmas decorations!” he let out a humorless laugh, his eyes filling with tears, “God, Jack!  They were dead, an-and… it’s all for the Shade.”

Jack stroked Ianto’s cheek as tears began to spill over, rolling down his cheeks.  An exhale escaped him, absolutely despising seeing Ianto in such pain -- every tear was like his own.  He knew Ianto hated expressing his emotions and preferred to keep this sort of thing to himself, but he, as well as anyone, knew that there was only so much one person could take.  Jack pressed a chaste kiss to Ianto’s temple, wanting to hold him longer but knowing that he couldn’t.

“Come on.” he got to his feet, offering Ianto his hand, which he graciously accepted, getting to his feet, faking a tiny smile and wiping his eyes.

  
Ianto wasn’t exactly sure what had set him off, and now he felt rather embarrassed for getting so overemotional.  It was just a dead body of a stranger -- working at Torchwood, he saw that daily.  He even disposed of bodies.  Whatever was messing with his head was making him an emotional wreck in the process.  Jack lifted their linked hands and kissed the back of Ianto’s palm affectionately.  Ianto’s smile widened slightly.

“You took your time.” Owen sighed, seeing Jack walk over with Ianto, “He still a basket case?”

Ianto scoffed, “Arsehole.”  
  


“Obviously not.” Owen gave a court nod, then stepped aside, “Meet Stephanie.”

As he stepped aside, there was a young girl, perhaps nine years of age or younger standing.  She had bright green eyes and fox-red hair that came down in ringlets over her shoulder, freckles standing out on her pale skin.  She was wearing a white summer dress (or at least, it was once white) and sandals, blood splashed over her.  Upon her head, keeping her mass of curls down was a white bonnet, giving her a look of innocence.  Stephanie’s eyes were empty and cold, not like what a grieving child would’ve normally had.  To be honest, she didn’t look like she was from that century.

“M said ‘too slow’.  She’s the mouse easily evading the stupid cat, the evasive salmon to your lazy bear.” the girl’s voice was flat, like her very soul was carved out, “But she hopes to meet you soon.” her mouth twisted into a sadistic smile, “That will be so much fun.” she blinked a few times, coming back to herself, tears filling her eyes, “Who are you?  Where are my parents and Caryn?”

Gwen and Toshiko exchanged sorrowful looks, whilst Owen knelt before the young girl, “I’m so sorry, darling… They’re gone.” his hand cupped her cheek, “They’re gone.” he repeated, and attempted to calm the little girl.

This was confusing to Ianto, seeing Owen, a man who was normally sour and arrogant, acting so kind and comforting.  But as he saw the sobbing child, he wanted to also comfort her, his stomach twisting with pity.  Jack exhaled, trying to not look at the poor kid, knowing that it’d probably stir up memories he would rather forget.

“Gwen, call your police buddies, okay?” he took on the ring of command, releasing Ianto’s hand, “Tell them that we’re dealing with the mystery, and they have to keep Stephanie safe.”  
  


Gwen nodded, “Will do.” and walked over to a place where she could get reception, her eyes stopping when she saw a trail of footsteps, “Um… Jack?”

“What?” the tall man asked, sounding rather annoyed as he stomped over.

  
Gwen signalled downward, “Something’s here.”

“Okay… Tosh, you and Owen stay with Stephanie, Gwen, get on with that phone call, Ianto come with me.” he commanded, “Pronto!”

Ianto walked over, breathing in a mouthful of the country air, grimacing at the thick, metallic scent of blood that was unmistakable.  Jack’s hand sought his once more as they followed the tracks, wary in case the attackers were there.

Suddenly, the tracks stopped dead, a tree now facing them.  They exchanged a slightly confused look, then let go of each other, both walking around the giant oak, a shiver of horror escaping Ianto when on the other side, he saw a young girl, perhaps fifteen or sixteen sitting with her back against the wood, heavy, thick breaths being drawn from her.  Her face was pale, with beads of sweat running down it, dripping off her nose.  Jet black hair with a fading blue streak was messed over her face, her knees drawn up to her chest.  From what Ianto could tell, she was starved, and possibly bleeding.  The only things she was wearing was a torn grey hoodie and some underwear, her thin legs dripping with blood from a gaping wound in her hamstring.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked, kneeling beside the girl, his hand moving to cradle her head.

She looked up, her grey eyes shadowed so badly it looked like she was wearing heaps of makeup.  Her lips peeled back into a scowl, and for the first time, Ianto noticed the thin piece of metal wrapped around her lower one.

“I’m bleeding to death, you bastard.” she coughed, “I’m not okay.”

Ianto rushed to her as soon as she mentioned death, tearing away one of her arms away from being tightly wrapped around her legs, lifting it up and seeing that the grey hoodie was soaked and stained red over her wrists, the fabric sticking to the skin.  Ianto winced, the sight of seeing a young girl bleeding to death disturbing.

“We’ve gotta get you to a hospital…”

The girl replied to Jack, “Nancy.” she cleared her throat, “And there’s no point.  I did it horizontally, making sure I slashed the vein too.  Don’t want to live.”  
  


“Why not?” the Welshman queried.

She gave a sly smirk, then with her sore arm, brought Ianto’s head close to hers so she could whisper, her blood rubbing onto his face, “Because I murdered those girls’ parents, then gave her little sister to the Shade.” she laughed, “My job is done.”

“Oh, my God!” Ianto pulled away, horrified, “You’re a killer!”  
  


She gave a hysterical giggle, “Oh, my dear, dear Ianto.  You can hardly judge.  You’ve got blood on your hands.  Through your pretty girlfriend Lisa.”

“How the hell do you know all that?” Jack asked, “That’s classified.”

She smirked, “Jack Harkness, Torchwood authorization 474 317!” her blood dripping fingers stroked over his cheek, “I know everything.  Hell is coming for you guys.”

“Shut up!” Jack slapped her, a sudden rush of anger in him.

Ianto gasped, “Jack!  She’s only a teenager, and she’s dying!  Stop it!”

“S-Sorry.” he tore his hand away.

Nancy laughed, “You’re all pathetic, animals cowering from the darkness.  Well, the darkness is here.  The Shade is coming, and every last human will have death befall them.  A gruesome, painful death.”

Her eyes rolled back as the loss of blood finally claimed her, the shallow breaths stopping with one final heave, her thready pulse slowing to a stop.  Ianto’s eyes searched over the young girl’s body, a shudder of horror claiming him before he could force it down.

\--

When they arrived back at the Hub, everybody was silent, and Ianto instantly retreated to the coffee maker, making a cup for himself, having to do something that kept his hands busy.  His mind flashed with the images of what he had seen that day -- a little girl, maybe a teenager, bleeding to death.  He exhaled, running his hands through his hair -- just another day on the job, he thought.

He had seen some pretty horrid things working for Torchwood -- a group of cannibals who wanted him to be their next meal, a lumpy, shapeless alien that was used for food and the worst of all, his girlfriend (now ex, although they never broke up) murdering two innocents when she lost herself to the mechanical monster of a cyberman (or woman) she had become.  Every time Ianto closed his eyes, he could see, hear and feel her -- her soft, dark skin, her beautiful eyes, her gorgeous voice.  And the worst thing about thinking about Lisa?  His current boyfriend, Jack Harkness was the one who got her killed.

Of course, he still resented him for it, but he enjoyed Jack’s company.  Before his boss, Ianto hadn’t ever liked men in a sexual or romantic way.  And now, he liked Jack in every way.  His boss was kind to him most of the time, funny, charismatic and extremely dashing.

“Ianto?” Jack called, pulling the Welshman from his thoughts, “Can you please work some coffee magic?”

Ianto exhaled, starting the coffee -- this job was amazing.  One minute, he could be fighting a big alien death machine, the next, making Jack his special blend.  He wouldn’t change that.

\--

“Robert McAldred.” Jack’s voice rung through the vaults as the team stared over the ice-preserved body upon the slab, “Age 36 when he was murdered by an unknown alien force on the 3rd of December 1997.  Wife, also murdered, two kids.  One is missing and presumed dead, the other committed suicide on the 12th August 2004.  Tosh, did you print off the note?”

Toshiko nodded, handing Jack the paper, “It’s possible that she may have been slightly intoxicated whilst writing it, despite being underage.”

“Okay.  So she threw herself in front of a truck, and because of that --” he broke off when Ianto handed him the coffee, “Thank you, Ianto -- she had to have a closed-coffin, private funeral.”

Toshiko began to read from a piece of paper in her hand, “‘Dear whomever, I know I have been missing for several years and that people are starting to believe I am dead.  Sadly, I have not had that honour to die yet.  I have nobody.  Nobody.  I’m so sorry, but I’ve got to cut myself off from this vile, filthy world before the blackness consumes me.  Nina.’ -- Nina McAldred was diagnosed with clinical depression age eleven, and there are several recorded attempts of suicide -- overdosing, slashing her wrists, trying to asphyxiate herself with… that’s a new one… cellotape.”

“So she is a dead end.” Ianto sighed, “Wonderful.”

Jack rolled his eyes, “We could do without the cynisism.”

“He has a point though, Jack.” Owen said, “We have no evidence, no witnesses.  Whatever this thing is it’s good--” the lights flickering caught his attention, “What the bloody hell?”

Ianto heaved a sigh, “This place is falling apart.  Even the pterodon is getting sick of it.”

“Even Janet is.” Jack added, “Okay, I’ll just… I need a few minutes, the rest of you can head home.”

Gwen looked slightly happy to go home to her fiancé Rhys, dropping a weak, ‘see you tomorrow’ before disappearing from both the room and the Hub swiftly.  Owen was silent as he left, and Toshiko muttered, ‘bye’ before following him.

Ianto remained with Jack, looking down at the body in front of him, part of him wanting to grimace at the grotesque injuries this poor man had been subjected to but the strongest part wanting to hug his boyfriend-slash-boss.

“You should go too.” Jack murmured, his voice low and filled with sadness.

Ianto exhaled, taking his hand, “I’m not leaving you, Jack.”

“Why not?” Jack’s eyes flickered up to meet his, “You need to rest.”

Ianto shrugged, “I’ll be okay.” then lovingly, he pressed a gentle kiss to Jack’s temple before pulling away, “You knew Robert well.” he stated, “Didn’t you?”  
  


“He was a good friend.” Jack straightened, looking at the frozen features, the torn face making him want to retch slightly, but also making him want to weep.

When Robert died, Jack was in too much shock to weep and now, eleven years passed and he was wanting to bawl his eyes out.  He felt Ianto wrap his arms around his waist and rest his face against his shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss there.

Jack loved that about Ianto.  Whether it was a big, world-dominating apocalypse that they faced, or a Weevil massacre, he remained the same.  Mostly loyal, kind, caring and very, very handsome, no matter how much he would deny it.  Ianto was definitely, if not the, one of the best boyfriends Jack Harkness had ever had.  And he wouldn’t change his beautiful little Welshman for anything.  You could offer Jack a one night stand with George bloody Clooney if he were to break up with Ianto, and he would turn it down.

Because Ianto was Ianto, and no damn movie star could ever replace him, or the way he felt about the young Welshman.

Jack heaved a sigh, then closed Robert’s body bag, pushing his slab back into where he had resided for eleven years.

“Jack?” Ianto asked, “You okay?”

Jack shrugged, “I guess I will be.”

“I’m so sorry about your friend.” Ianto huffed, “W-were you close?”

Jack nodded, then took Ianto’s hand, “He was my friend.” he met eyes with his lover, “But that was eleven years ago.” a flash of grief filled his eyes, “God, I thought this was over.”

Ianto sighed, cupping Jack’s cheek, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know.” Jack lied -- he believed it was 100% his fault.

Ianto pressed his lips softly to the taller’s, a slow, lingering kiss bringing them closer.  Ianto pulled away, smiling slightly.

“You want to continue this upst--” Jack was cut off when the alarm rang, the one Toshiko installed to warn about intruders.

The two men exchanged a look, then grabbed their pistols, making their way to the main part of the Hub.  Ianto craned his neck to see who was there, but saw nothing.  The alarm stopped.

“Well, this is awkward.” a female voice laughed, and the two turned to see a young, brunette girl with dark eyes, smirking towards them.

Jack aimed his gun towards her head, “Who the hell are you?”  
  


“I’m Ianto’s favourite person.” the girl muttered dryly.

  
Ianto gasped in realisation, “You’re M.”

“I am she.” the girl brushed her mane of hair away from her eyes, “And you two are Captain Jack Harkness and the incredibly hot Ianto Jones.  Cute couple.”  
  


Ianto’s voice raised in annoyance, “How the fuck do you know that?”

“Language.” she chastised, “Plus, it’s kinda obvious.  Not that I’m objecting.  Gay love is yay love.”

Ianto cocked his gun, “Who we are.”

“I’m a clever little girl.” she crossed her arms, frowning, “Put the gun down?  It makes you look very, very stupid.”  
  


Jack narrowed his eyes, putting the gun against her forehead, “I will shoot you.”

“Terrifying.” she rolled her eyes, “Such a small pistol, Jack.  You compensating for something?  Thought a cockhead like you would at least have a better weapon.”

Jack gave a look of mock offense, “That the best you’ve got, Shrek?”

“Well aside from the fact that you look and sound like an even poofier version of Tom Cruise, no.” she smirked, and noticed Ianto try to force back his own smile, “Come on, Maverick.  Pull the trigger.”  
  


Jack’s finger rested against the trigger, and he expertly prepared to shoot this irritating, idiotic intruder.  Then, he realised with horror, his hand was being forcibly turned to face his own head, the barrel of the gun resting against his temple.  
  
Ianto gasped, “Jack?  Jack…” he tried to pry his hand away, but found his own being forced downwards.  He looked towards M, “What are you doing?  Stop it!” he yelled.

“Nope.” she grinned, and a loud bang resounded through the Hub as a bullet swiftly implanted into Jack’s brain, knocking him down in an instant, the gun skittering over to M’s feet.

  
Gleefully, she picked up the revolver, feeling the weight of it in her palm, aiming it at Ianto’s head.  Stupidly, the Welshman dropped his own gun and rushed to Jack -- his Jack, pulling his head into his lap, hand cupping his cheek.  Whilst he knew that Jack wasn’t permanently dead, he still hated seeing him die.  Every time, it was like his own personal hell.  One of the people he never wanted hurt was lying with a bullet emptied in his skull.

“Thought you said you weren’t a killer.” Ianto stated, voice flat and filled with slight dread.

M shrugged, “I lied.  Plus, he ain’t really dead, is he?  He’s… on holiday.  And technically, he killed himself so…”

“You’re hilarious.” Ianto dryly murmured, “What are you?  Humans aren’t able to perform telekinisis.”

The girl hopped up onto Owen’s workstation, looking at the gun, then pulling the other into her free hand using her ability, “But… what if they were?  Thanks to the hot new drug on the streets, I have the IQ of a Time Lord, ask your boyfriend what one is, and I can move things with my mind.” a trail of blood dripped from her nostril, and she wiped it away, “Awh, shit.  Sadly, this is what happens when I use my amazing ability.  God, Jean Grey never had this issue in X-Men.  Do you like X-Men, Ianto?  I do.  I prefer the comics to the movies, of course.  Mainly because I have every one stored in my noggin.” she tapped her temple, “Being a superhero seems just kinda cool.”

“You’re demented.” Ianto hissed.

The girl looked slightly angered, “Excuse me?  Just ‘cause you’re a cute wee Welshman, don’t presume I won’t empty a fuck-load of bullets into your cerebral cortex.”

“I’m hardly scared of you.” Ianto mocked, “You’re what, eighteen?”

M rolled her eyes, unamused, “Bit older.  And no matter what age, I’ll still shoot you.  Just ask Romeo there.”

“Go ahead.” Ianto dared, “You won’t do it.  You need us for something.”

M scoffed, “Get over yourself.”

“Why us?” Ianto asked, his heart thumping in his chest, “Wh-Why not UNIT o-or someone who could deal with this better?  Why us?”

M smirked, “Clever boy.” she put down the guns, switching on the safety, “You lot are the best.  Plus, your boss cannae die, which is a plus.”

“How are you able to move things with your mind?” Ianto asked, cradling Jack’s head in his lap, eyes dropping to his face.

M stoicly replied, “All in good time, my dear.”  
  


Jack suddenly jolted up, gasping in a frantic gulp of air, eyes shooting open as the skin on his forehead healed over, Ianto holding him close as he confusedly looked around.

“What the--” he looked at M, pulling away from Ianto, “You shot me!”

The girl rolled her eyes, “You came back.  Quit complainin’.”

“You.  Shot.  Me.” Jack got to his feet, helping up Ianto too, “You bitch.”

M gave an overdramatic gasp, “I am literally so offended by that statement!”

“You are a bitch.” Ianto crossed his arms, “So, what are you going to do?  Well, I worked out that you won’t kill us, well, you can’t kill Jack, so what are you doing here?”

M replied, “I’m sending a message.  The Shade are here.”

“Yeah, who are The Shade, and why are they messing with Ianto’s mind?” asked Jack, earning a slight glare from Ianto, who felt like he was being over-coddled.

M explained, “The Shade are close relatives of the Vashta Nerada, and like them, prefer to remain in shadows.  But instead of eating their victims like piranha, they murder the parents and kidnap the youngest child, using the eventual death of the older child by suicide as just one method of torture.  They twist the kid’s mind until they too become part of the shadows and worship them.” she paused, “They’re messing with cutie-pie here’s mind because he knows who they are, and they don’t like it.  They prefer to live in secret.”

“What’s going to happen to me?” asked Ianto, voice going small.

  
M sighed, “They’ll mess with your head until you too, like the elder children, commit suicide.  Only the toughest can beat it.  I did.  I knew of their existence, and I was attacked.  But I had the help of the drug that gave me this knowledge.”  
  


“So how can he fight it?” Jack prodded, now extremely worried.

M shrugged, “He’s just a distraction.  Nobody else in your team is suffering because one is enough to keep you occupied.  I’d recommend just keep him away from sharp objects.  Don’t let him be alone.”

“This is bullshit…” Ianto muttered, “I wouldn’t kill myself!”

M huffed, “You won’t be able to control it.  Perhaps if I find my old dealer, he can make up a special drug for you.  I know someone who knows him.” she crossed her arms, “Okay… meet me at the Wolf bar in three days time, 9pm on the dot.” she turned to leave.

“Wait!” Jack grabbed her shoulder, “You’re not leaving us.”

The girl snapped suddenly, telekinetically throwing him against the wall before storming out.  Ianto gasped, rushing to Jack and helping him to his feet, a look of devastation on his face.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Ianto.” Jack took his hand, “I swear.”

 


	4. Chapter Three

When Ianto returned home that night, he had Jack follow him swiftly, refusing to leave him alone after M’s chilling prediction.  This was to Ianto’s dismay as he felt he did not need a babysitter.

 

“I’m not going to top myself, Jack.” Ianto sighed, “I wouldn’t.  You have to trust me, please.”

 

Jack shook his head, “I’m not taking that chance… not with you.”

 

“Yeah, ‘cause I mean so much to you…” the Welshman muttered.

 

Jack narrowed his eyes at that, surprised at what he had just heard, “Excuse me?”

 

“You heard.” Ianto stated, making himself his lunch for the next night, “You heard fine and bloody well.”

 

Jack’s voice raised slightly, “You think I don’t care?” the words were foreign and strange -- of course he did.

 

“You care enough that when you are aware I don’t like you spilling our relat-- sex life’s secrets, you still do.  Like I’m nothing but a good bit of bloody gossip.” Ianto vented, putting the sandwich in the lunchbox, then into the fridge.

 

Jack huffed in annoyance, “I was kidding around!”

 

“Yeah, and I don’t appreciate being treat like some kind of joke!” Ianto yelled back, and a silence fell between them, one that took him a minute to break, “I’m… I’m tired.  I’m going to bed.  Goodnight, Jack.” he disappeared into his room, and Jack heard rustling as he changed into a shirt and bottoms.

 

Jack sat there for half an hour, just staring at the clock, hearing time tick away.  He decided he didn’t like fighting with Ianto -- it was so rare that they did so.  It hurt that Ianto didn’t think himself more than a quick shag, that Jack’s boyfriend refused to believe that Jack even cared about him.

 

When the hands on the clock indicated it was 2am, Jack got up, shedding his jacket and putting it carefully over Ianto’s couch.  He walked through to Ianto’s bedroom, seeing the Welshman lying on his side, knowing he wasn’t asleep quite yet, his baby blue eyes staring towards the wall as he hugged into himself.

 

Jack inhaled and clambered as gently as possible under the covers, wrapping an arm around Ianto’s waist.  Ianto exhaled slightly when he felt the bed dip, relieved that he hadn’t scared Jack off.  He felt the American’s breath over the back of his neck and turned to face him, looking up into his boyfriend’s eyes.

 

“I’m sorry.” Jack breathed, and Ianto could feel the puff of air against his lips, “I’ll attempt not to be an ass.”  
  


Ianto tried to lighten up the situation, “‘Attempt’ being the chosen word?”

 

“Oh, ha ha.” Jack grinned, then pecked Ianto’s lips, “Of course I care for you, Ianto Jones.”  
  


They laid together, Ianto wrapped in his boss’ arms until he finally fell asleep, the American watching over him.  He decided that Ianto Jones sleeping was possibly the cutest thing he had ever seen.  He looked so peaceful.  
  
Jack pressed a kiss to his forehead, then found himself also being drawn into sleep, eyes fluttering closed.  He breathed in Ianto’s coffee scent and let himself be lulled into slumber.

 

\--

 

“Rhys!” Gwen giggled, at the mercy of her fiancé’s tickling hands, “I’m gonna be late fer bloody work!”

 

Rhys joked, “And how terrible that would be!” he attacked her throat with butterfly kisses, making her shriek with joy.

 

“Rhys!” she squeaked, “Bloody hell!”

 

Her lover pecked her lips, his bare chest rested against her clothed one, laughs escaping her, her hands woven in his dark locks.

 

He slightly inched away, “I bloody love you, Gwen Cooper.”  
  


“I love you, Rhys Williams.” she replied.

 

He started tickling her again, “Now, are you sure you want to go to work?” he asked, grinning.

 

\--

 

Owen Harper rose from his bed at 7.38, after dawdling with the snooze button several times, yawning.  He rubbed his eyes then opened the curtains, seeing daylight crack into his apartment.  He was wearing practically nothing except an old pair of boxers, so tried to discreetly hide behind the curtain whilst he dressed, not wanting to give an old lady a heart attack.

 

Well, he was a doctor, so he could deal with it if she did.  Obviously not nude though.  When he was dressed, he walked to his fridge, pulling out a bottle of beer before downing it all in one go.

 

Drinking was all he seemed to do these days outside of work.  There were no women who interested him anymore, not after Diane Holmes, the woman who he fell for after a week of being fuckbuddies.  Nobody piqued his interest.

 

Well, there was Toshiko, but he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with her.  Of course he found her beautiful, which Miss Sato was, but she was also one of his only friends.  And he couldn’t lose that.

  
Of course, he respected Jack, and he was great friends with him.  Things were still awkward between he and Gwen after the trysts that they had eventually to break off.  And Ianto was just an ass who tried to contradict everything he said.  He kind of hated him, kind of didn’t.  Torchwood, nonetheless were his family.

 

His own one had failed him.

 

\--

 

Toshiko Sato was already dressed and ready by 7am, her black hair tied up in a ponytail, clad in the usual denim, leather and boots.  She finished doing her makeup, that of which she didn’t wear much, and went to her kitchen, making herself some breakfast, exhaling in slight sadness.

 

She both hated and loved her job.

 

Loved, because of the thrills and laughter, and undeniable fun.

 

Hated, because every day she went there, she looked at somebody who didn’t even care about her in a romantic way.

 

Owen.  She was completely in love with him, had been since they met, even with his less than kind… mannerisms.  But the love was unrequited.  Owen was young, and impulsive, and reckless.

 

And God, that attracted her more…

 

\--

 

Ianto awoke when his (thankfully working) alarm clock insistently buzzed.  He groaned, stretching across Jack to hit it, suddenly feeling too tired to even get up.  He just wanted to sleep.

 

“That our wake up call?” Jack asked.

 

Ianto nodded, “‘Fraid so.”

 

“Damn it.” Jack inched closer so that his lips were close to Ianto’s, “And I just wanted to spend some time with you.”  
  


Ianto groaned, wanting to kiss him, “Jack… I’ll… We’ll be late for work.”  
  


“I’m the boss.” Jack stated, “I won’t exactly fire myself.”

 

Ianto gave a small laugh, then kissed Jack, “Alright.” then felt Jack kiss him back with fervour, pulling the covers over their heads.

 

\--

 

“Look who’s arrived.” Owen mumbled when Jack and Ianto came strolling into the Hub, glancing at the timer on his computer screen, “Only… half an hour late.”

 

Ianto grinned, looking very mellow, “Relax, Owen.  You can manage half an hour without seeing our gorgeous faces, can’t you?”  
  


“So, you two are sleeping over at each others now?” asked Gwen, smirking, “I’d ask for details, but then Jack’d probably draw us a diagram, and poor Owen’s mind is too fragile for that.”

 

Owen groaned, “If you draw a bloody diagram, somebody’s going to end up dead, and it ain’t me.”

 

“So, any rift news?” Jack questioned Toshiko, “Unless you wanna hear about the steamy shower Ianto and I--”  
  


Ianto gave a short, awkward laugh, interrupting, “No, Jack.  They really don’t.”

 

Gwen arched an eyebrow, looking at Owen, who faux-gagged.  Tosh cleared her throat, clicking at her computer, her cheeks heating up.

 

“No rift activity as such, although the system says we had an intruder last night.” she peered up through her spectacles, “Were you two here or… ahem… busy?”

 

Ianto replied, “That’d be Miss Cryptic.” when she saw the look of confusion, he elaborated, “M.  She dropped by here last night, managed to get in.”

 

“So who is she?” Gwen asked.

 

Ianto shrugged, “Dunno.  She’s perhaps in her twenties, pretty, Scottish, and somehow harbours telekinetic powers.  Threw Jack across a room and forced him to shoot himself.”

 

“What a bitch!” Owen’s voice rose slightly, “So, did she say anything important?”

 

Jack nodded, “We have to meet her at the Wolf bar in two days, 9pm sharp.”

 

“Can’t we just nab her there?” Owen suggested.

 

Ianto scoffed, “Brilliant plan.  Especially the part where one of us gets telekinetically thrown into the Channel.”

 

“She could close our airways if she wanted to kill us -- you guys anyway, tear out your hearts.” Jack stated blankly, “She needs us for something.  Somehow she knows everything about us, about this place, about everything.”

 

Ianto added, “She said she had every X-Men comic stored in her brain, and that she had the IQ of a Time King or something like that.”

 

“A Time Lord?” Jack asked.

 

Ianto nodded, “That’s it!” he paused, “She also said that you knew what one was.  And obviously you do, so please share.”

 

“What do you think my mysterious Doctor is?” Jack grinned slightly, “Wait, if she has the IQ of one, then that means somehow, she’s absorbed the brain of one.  That isn’t humanly possible.”

 

Toshiko exhaled, “I guess that means Ianto should go.”

 

“Not alone.” Jack stated adamantly, “Can’t let him be alone.”  
  


“Jack…”

 

Owen looked confused at the sudden tension between the couple, “What does he mean by that?”

 

“M said…” Ianto sighed, “She said that if this thing, the Shade, gets it’s own way… I’ll end up offing myself.”

 

Gwen gasped, “No, you wouldn’t.”

 

“Apparently, it isn’t in my control.” Ianto looked down to avoid the glares, “I’ll end up dead apparently, unless she can find a cure.”  
  


Jack tilted his face up to meet eyes with him, “Hey… I won’t let you get hurt.  Okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Ianto sounded unconvinced, “What-- What matters is meeting M.”

  
  


\--

 

When the time came to go to the club, Ianto found himself nervous.  He changed into an old T-Shirt and jeans so that he wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb, wearing a suit.

 

“You look hot.” Jack noted as he walked past his boyfriend, smirking, “Guess I’m staying over tonight again?” he winked.

 

Ianto rolled his eyes, “You’re insatiable, Jack Harkness.” he turned around, eyes roaming his boss’ form, “You’re honestly sticking with that outfit, are you?”

 

“And what exactly, Ianto Jones, is wrong with my outfit?” the American gave his signature grin, “Would you prefer me out of it?”

 

Ianto linked his arms around Jack’s neck, smiling, “Perhaps later, sir.  And what I meant is, you look a bit out of the time to be clubbing.”

 

“Hey!” Jack pouted, “I’ll have you know that this was all the rage back in 1940s!”

 

Ianto scoffed, “That was before anyone at that club was born, probably.”

 

“So, are you ready to go listen to extremely loud music for the sake of Torchwood?” Jack asked.

 

Ianto nodded, pressing a brief kiss to Jack’s lips before pulling away, “I’m ready.”

 

\--

 

Banging drums and the sound of a guitar being axed was the noise that first gripped Jack and Ianto’s ears as they descended the steps into the Wolf Bar.  Ianto exhaled, smelling the unmistakable stench of alcohol and smoke.  He vaguely remembered going to parties when he was a teen, but in perfect honesty, he was peer pressured into most of them, older, popular kids laughing at his geekiness.  Now he thrived in it, which Jack loved.

 

The female scream of vocals caught his attention, and he looked up to see a woman, perhaps in her late teens, early twenties harmonizing into the mic, her backup band jumping up and down as her wild strands of raven hair fell in front of her eyeliner-circled eyes.  She was wearing a typically ‘emo’ outfit, a black strapped t-shirt with a skull bedazzled upon it, black skinny jeans and black trainers.  Up and down her arms were various spiked bracelets, and around her neck was a cross choker.

 

‘Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.

Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...’

 

Somebody tapped his shoulder, and Ianto blinked a few times, diverting his attention from the strangely appealing siren upon the stage, then casting his gaze to Jack, who was staring upward.

 

Ianto looked to see what Jack was goggling at, and saw M, dancing like a prostitute near a man who she had bewitched under her thrall.  Her dark hair was spilled over her shoulder, curled like a twenties flapper, a black miniskirt that reached her mid thigh and a red tube top the only clothing she was wearing it seemed.  Upon her feet were a pair of red and black heels, ones that she expertly danced in.  Dangling from the mysterious girl’s ears were great loops and around her neck was a pendant that disappeared down the tube top.

 

M locked eyes with the Torchwood operatives, but didn’t cease her movements, her smirk widening in a wanton way, enjoying the attention was raining on her.  She knew neither boy found her too attractive and were only watching because of the way her body drew them in, her eyes smokey and lustful as she turned back to her victim, dragging her nails down his throat seductively.  She huffed as the song reached it’s climax, drawing her thumb over the man’s lips, hoping she at least made him come in his pants.  Oh, the entertainment she got from torturing men.

 

He groaned as she pushed away from him, making her way over to the bar where they sat, “Aw’right lads?  Look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

 

“You’re a bizarre one, M, but if a lapdance is how you treat all the men you meet, then I’m pleased to say we can do business.” Jack’s lips turned upwards in his usual smirk once more, and Ianto death-glared him.

 

Not that it would work, even if looks could kill.

 

The girl retorted, “I’d flirt back, but I don’t go for the cheesy ones with an extra-long back catalogue.  The cutie Welsh ones, however.” she smirked at Ianto, then added, “Aren’t my type either.  Although the lass on stage is kinda hot.”

 

“True.” Ianto crossed his arms over his chest, casting a cheeky smirk toward his boyfriend, “So why are we here?”

 

M turned towards the group of headbanging people, “I’m looking for a guy who knows my dealer.  He’s a regular here.  Name’s Saul.  Bit of a dirtbag, loves the ladies.”

 

“Which is why you’re dressed like a prostitute I’m guessing.” Ianto sassed.

 

She rolled her eyes, “Rather that than dressed like Mr. Sore Thumb behind you.” she gestured towards Jack, “Seriously man?  Are you just pissing about or do you not know what undercover means?”  
  
“He doesn’t have any other clothes, I think.” Ianto murmured, earning a soft push from the elder man.

 

M let her eyes roam the crowd again, stopping when she saw the man she was looking for.  He was lurking in the darkness, but she could make out some thick guyliner on him, as well as an Avenged Sevenfold top.

 

“That’s Saul.” she smirked, “Cute wee emo lad in the back there.  Now, you lovebirds stay here, I’ll question him in my own way.”

 

She walked over to Saul, locking eyes with him, her own clouding over with lust.  As soon as they met, he fell under her thrall, smiling as her hands ran up his chest and linked behind his throat, her lips tilting in a salicious grin.

 

“Why hello there, handsome.” she breathed, “How about you and I go out the back for a chat?” she winked.

 

He chewed his lip, “Of course, darling.” he allowed himself to be dragged, missing M’s glance towards her allies.

 

When he was pushed against the wall of the club, the dark haired girl attacking his lips with hot kisses, he felt like all his Christmases had come at once.  Her hands frantically unzipped his jeans, his lips burning a line over her throat as he lifted her up against the wall, joining them.

 

“Do you know where Jonas Pierce is?” the girl gasped as he fucked into her.

 

He blinked, confused, “I’m sorry, love?  I thought you wanted…”  
  


Suddenly, he was kicked away as she dropped back to her feet.  He was about to yell at her and maybe slap her, but suddenly felt himself being strangled as he was forced backwards against the wall, something sharp and metal touching his exposed manhood.

 

“Now…” M panted into his ear, “I’d think very carefully unless you want to lose your little prick.  Where.  Is.  Jonas?”

 

Saul shrieked, “Help!”

 

“Shut up!” she nicked his stomach with the blade, “And tell me!”  
  


She was suddenly torn away, meeting a pair of angered blue eyes; Ianto Jones’.  She groaned.

 

“I told you to stay.” she sighed.

 

Ianto growled, “When somebody comes screaming ‘crazy chick with a knife’, I tend not to listen to previous orders!”

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, he knows where this bloke is!” M snarled, “Jonas can save you.”  
  


Ianto rolled his eyes, yelling back at her, “If it means you’re going to go around killing folk, then I don’t want saved!”

 

“Such morals, Ianto.” M’s voice became low and flat, “Always somebody else’s life before your own.  It’s pathetic.”

 

Ianto deadpanned, “Torchwood exists to destroy alien threats and protect humans.  Nobody ever said my life was important.”

 

“You really think that?” Jack’s wavering voice caught Ianto’s attention, “That you aren’t important?”

 

Saul disappeared into the streets, leaving the two lovers and the psychopath caught in the middle.

 

Ianto huffed, “If people are dying, Jack, then I don’t care about my life.  The normal ones are what is important.  And that guy, I don’t care that he’s gone, as long as he’s ali--”

 

“Damn it, Ianto!” Jack interjected, smashing his hand so hard against the wall that it drew blood from his palm, “Why are you such a damn martyr?  For God’s sake, I don’t want you to die!”

 

M rolled her eyes, yawning, “Oh, how I love domestic tiffs.”

 

“There must be another way of finding Jonas.” Jack pleaded.

 

M thought for a second, “I’m not sure, I hate not being sure, but I’ll keep a look out and if I find him, I’ll contact you.” she turned and disappeared into the darkness.

  
“Why are you so desperate for him to be found?” asked Ianto, “I’m not going to top myself, I don’t even feel depressed!”

 

Jack sighed, “It isn’t worth the risk.”

 

“You know it is.”  
  


“Not for me!” Jack yelled, making Ianto flinch, “N-Not for me.” he saw the slight shock in his lover’s eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.”

 

Ianto exhaled, “I know.” he crossed his arms over his chest, “This was a bust.  Lets just head home, and by that I mean, I’ll head to my apartment, stalked by you.”  
  


“You love it.” a Harkness grin stretched the Captain’s features.

 

Ianto shook his head, “I actually don’t.  I actually love and revel in privacy, but because you think I’m such a basket case, you won’t leave me alone.”  
  


“I am trying to protect you!” Jack rose his voice once more, not even caring if he scared his boyfriend anymore, as long as he got through to him.

 

Ianto groaned, “I am not a child, Jack Harkness.  Stop treating me like one, okay?  I’m fucking going home.” he stormed off, leaving his boyfriend in the dark.

 

\--

 

Ianto laid in bed, trying to think.  The covers were pulled tightly around him, cold still sneaking over his collarbone and throat, making him shiver.  All he could think about was the arguement he had with Jack.  He hated himself for it, and all he wanted in that moment was for Jack to hold him.  But he had fucked up.

  
Before he could work out what he was doing, Ianto found himself in the kitchen, his shaking hand clutching a long, hefty blade, bouncing it in his palm.

 

All he could think about in that moment was what would happen if he were to slit his own throat with the weapon, or if he were to ‘fall’ onto it, or if he slashed his wrists.

 

He felt the metal rest against his skin and blinked a few times, willing himself to stop.  There was a whoosh, and Ianto could feel something cold pass him, and the knife fell from his hand as he turned around, looking to see who was in his apartment.

 

“H-Hello?” he called, “Wh-Who’s there?”

 

No reply.

 

The sensation of cold fell over him once more, and he felt his heart race increase in fear.  He muttered Welsh curses under his breath, then turned around once more, suddenly realising he had the knife back in his hand.  And upon his arm was a deep-ish, straight cut, which was draining blood.

 

Tears filled his eyes as he dropped the knife, trembling, then as he fell to the floor, they also descended down his cheeks.  Jack was right.  So many thoughts were filling his head, babbling at him, telling him to die, to just die.  He shivered once more as his eyes locked on the corner, seeing the shadows shift slightly.  A scream caught in his throat as he scrabbled on his worktop for his mobile, putting his back to it to make sure the creature couldn’t snatch him from behind.

 

He grabbed his phone, his knees against his chest as he dialled Jack in a panic, pleading that he wasn’t too pissed off to pick up.

 

Click, “Ianto?  You in a better mood?”

 

“Jack!” he cried, “H-Help me… I-I… There’s something here and I’m scared and I, oh, God.”

 

Jack tried to calm him, “Ianto, you’re scaring me, slow down, what’s going on?”

 

“I almost s-stabbed myself…  And there’s somebody here.” he whimpered, “Oh, help me, Jack, I’m begging you, please.”

  
Jack sighed, “I’m on the way,” then hung up, making Ianto feel more alone and exposed.

 

\--

 

When he arrived at Ianto’s apartment, Jack practically kicked the door down, getting out his revolver, ready to kill the son of a bitch who’d dare try and hurt Ianto.  Suddenly, he felt something cold pass through him, and turned to see the shadow of a person disappear down the staircase, turning out lights as it went along.  He attempted to run after it, but knew it was too quick, and that Ianto was the priority.

 

When he walked back into the room, he heard muffled, whimpery sobs, and approached the source of the sound, seeing Ianto curled into a ball, practically hysteric as his arm wept blood.

 

Jack put away his gun and rushed to his boyfriend, tilting his face up by his chin, seeing the tears that rolled down his cheeks.  
  


“Ianto, it’s okay…” he mumbled, kissing his temple, “Shh, it’s alright.”

 

Ianto sobbed, “M-My arm.”

 

“Okay…” Jack took the bleeding limb and studied his wound, ignoring the fact that Ianto was only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms, keeping his Harkness libido in check, “It’s not so bad.”  
  


Ianto choked on a sob, which frightened Jack.  Ianto hardly ever cried, he hated showing his emotions like this.  The only times Jack had seen him so upset were when Lisa died (and when she was a still-living Cyberwoman) and there was a faint memory in the very back of his mind, one he couldn’t quite pull to the surface.  Something about three girls.  But now, the Shade and everything surrounding them were stealing his mind.

 

Ianto began to rock, fingernails digging into knees as if he needed comfort, comfort that Jack attempted to provide by holding him, one of his hands roaming the drawers for a set of bandages, knowing all too well where Ianto kept things.  Ianto was obsessive when it came to keeping things clean and in order.

 

When he retrieved the bandages, Jack wrapped them tenderly around his boyfriend’s wound, murmuring endearments as he did so, trying to keep him calm so he didn’t go into shock or have a heart attack.

 

After his wound was bandaged, Ianto managed to control himself somewhat, slowing down his breathing and allowing Jack to just hold him as he shook, burying his face in his coat.

 

“You’ll be alright.” Jack reassured, his thumb stroking over Ianto’s shoulder, his lips pressed to his lover’s forehead.

 

Ianto’s voice shook, “No, I won’t.”

 

 


	5. Chapter Four

When Ianto awoke the next morning, he groaned and pressed the snooze on his alarm, arm flailing drowsily across Jack’s torso.  His boss was already awake, which was predictable, as Ianto knew very well that his lover was always up first, whether he was staying over after a romp, or just being a kind boss/boyfriend.  Jack’s sleeping schedule was strange.

 

Ianto felt lips press against the top of his head, and he couldn’t help but smile gently.  This was the Jack he fell for; the nice, caring boyfriend who actually gave a damn.  As attractive as badass, ‘kill some motherfuckers’ Jack was, Ianto preferred him like this, Jack’s arm curled around the shorter man’s waist, allowing him to rest his head against his chest.

 

“That’s more like it.” the American remarked, flashing his own grin, “You’re smiling, and that’s good.”  
  


Ianto pecked Jack’s cheek, his smile turning into a slight frown, “I’m sorry about last night.  I was an arsehole.  You were just trying to protect me, I know--”

 

“Shush.” Jack silenced him, “It’s fine.”

 

Ianto shook his head, “No it isn’t… I’m sorry.”

 

“Ianto…” Jack exhaled, “It’s okay.  I admit, I was a bit overprotective.” he took one of Ianto’s hand in his own and kissed it, “But I’m concerned about you.  I think you should take a few days off, rest.”

 

Ianto’s eyes flickered away, “I really shouldn--”

 

“I’ll stay off too.  The others can manage.” Jack interjected.

 

Ianto heaved a sigh, “I can’t ask you to do that Jack.  You love working.”  
  


“And I,” a small pause, “love you too.” he didn’t really mean it romantically, thought Ianto, he was simply stating that he kind of cared.

 

The Welshman forced a tiny smile, pecking the lips of his boyfriend, “So, what are we going to do if we’re staying off?”

 

“Hmm…” Jack grinned wolfishly, “I wonder…” he kissed Ianto softly, feeling the younger man melt against him, “Have I ever told you that you are gorgeous?”

 

Ianto couldn’t help the blush that rose up to his cheeks at that, “Once or twice.”  
  


“Ianto Jones, are you embarrassed?” Jack pressed teasing kisses over his boyfriend’s throat, tickling him.

 

Ianto laughed, trying to push away, “N-No!”

 

There was a beep from Ianto’s phone on his bedside table, and the two lovers both groaned in annoyance, Jack rolling his eyes.  Ianto looked at the message.

 

Unknown: Meet me at Peter’s Coffee shop at 4pm, handsome:P.  M.

 

“Should I be jealous?” Jack asked, frowning.

  
Ianto ignored that comment, “So much for a day off together.”  
  


“We still have a few hours…” Jack smirked.

 

Ianto chewed his lower lip, “Oh, yeah…” then kissed his boyfriend.

 

\--

 

M sat in the coffee shop, admiring one of the barista’s backside as she cradled a cappuccino between her hands.  She had always enjoyed coffee, ever since she was little.  It was the rush of energy that it gave that made her love it.

 

Dark eyes flickered up to the clock, then back to the people in the cafe.  M counted the people there, numbers flashing in her mind.  The world, to her, was made up of them.  The children, the men, the women, all of it came down to chemicals and numericals.

 

She sipped at her drink, feeling the hot liquid run down her throat, warming up her body.  It was a relief from feeling so damn cold and detached all the time.  She looked back up at the clock, which annoyingly ticked away.  It was 3:59.  They were going to be late.  M’s hand ran down the outside of her own leg, reaching something curved and chunky.  Strapped to her ankle was a badly-concealed .44 pistol.  M hated when people were late, and considered opening fire upon everyone in the shop, even the hot barista boy, just to send a message to bloody Torchwood that she was a very quick-tempered woman.

 

Her thumb stroked the outline of the gun, and just as she was about to pull it out, she heard the cafe door open, and looked up to see Ianto and Jack walk in, hand in hand, chatting idly and smiling as they came to sit opposite her.

 

“You’re late.” she hissed, “I’m not very happy.”

 

Ianto rolled his eyes, “We’re actually right on time.  It’s 4:00 exactly.”

 

“Ianto, I am a bit of a sociopath.” stated M, “I wouldn’t try the sassy kittyboy thing.”

 

Ianto arched an eyebrow, “‘Kittyboy’?”

 

“Only because kittens are cute.” Jack smirked.

 

M snarled, “I suppose I should warn both you clever lads that I am currently packing a .44, so if you are trying to take the piss, I will empty a chamber of bullets into your bodies.” there was a click as she flicked off the safety, pointing the gun at Jack’s stomach, “Romeo will be the first to go, and the last, of course.  But silly me, forgot the silencer, oh, well.  So when they find you with a gun and the corpse of your boyfriend, they’ll contain you.  Forever.”  
  


“Fine.” Jack sighed, “Just get on with it.”  
  


M noticed the edges of a bandage peeking up through Ianto’s coat, “What’s that, then?”

 

“It’s… Well…” Ianto tried to explain, “Last night… I-I…” he felt Jack squeeze his hand supportively, “You were right.”

 

M exhaled, “Okay.  That gives us less time than I thought.  Damn.”

 

“Less time?” Jack asked, now worried.

 

M nodded, “Once the cravings to kill yourself start, you have at most, a week, before it consumes you.”

  
“Oh, my God…” Ianto mumbled.

 

M clicked the gun back on safety and put it back into her holster, now trusting that neither man opposite would do anything, “But, because I’m awesome, I may have tracked down Jonas.  He’s in a hovel, God, he is predictable.  Hot, but predictable.”

 

“Oh, my God, can you stop with the libido?  You’re as bad as him!” Ianto hissed.

 

M looked slightly taken aback by that, “Wow.  Ianto Jones has a set of bollocks.  Alert the media.”

 

“Oh, he definitely has those.” Jack smirked, earning a jab in the shoulder from his irked boyfriend, “Ouch.  That hurts me emotionally, baby.” he pouted, “I’m sorry.”

 

Ianto retorted, “Well, I’m not.”

 

“Now, as much as I’m enjoying our sexual chemistry and banter, Mister Jones, I must get down to business.  Jonas is living in an abandoned warehouse.” M said.  
  


The Welshman rolled his eyes, “That narrows it down.”

 

“Well, if you’d allow me to finish, Ianto.” she glared, “You guys may not know where the place is, but I do.  Which means, you need me to find him.”

 

Ianto crossed his arms, “Great.” he mumbled, “No offense, but you sort of creep the living shit out of me.” he stated.

 

“None taken.” she grinned, “I have that effect upon most people.  Now, come along lads, we gotta hustle our pretty little bustles if we wanna find him.  He tends to travel a lot.”

 

Jack crossed his arms, “Just give us the damn address, and we’ll go.”

 

“No.” M snapped, “I wanna find these dickbags too.  The Shade are killers.”

 

“Bit hypocritical.” Ianto muttered.

 

M narrowed her eyes, “Hey, I could kill you right now, but I won’t.  I thought that Torchwood were a brilliant, kickarse group who could help me.  If I was wrong… well, I hate being wrong.”

 

“Take us to him.” Jack pleaded, defeated.

 

M smirked, “There we go.”

 

\--

 

“What’s going on?” asked Toshiko as she, Owen and Gwen were crowded around a monitor, watching the conversation between M and the two men through the security cameras.

 

Owen replied, “This M’s quite pretty.  Thought she’d be older.”

 

“Control yourself, Owen!” Gwen chastised.

 

Owen rolled his eyes, then noticed the three get up, “Well, I guess it’s up to Jack and Ianto now.”

 

\--

 

When they reached the warehouse, Jack and Ianto unconsciously linked hands, following M inside.

 

“Jonas?” she called in a sing-song voice, “Your favourite customer is here!”

 

A crowd of people walked in, each packing a pistol.  Ianto stiffened -- God, these people had temper issues.

  
One of the people, a dirty blond haired young man in his early-mid twenties, put down his gun when he locked eyes with M, “You’re here!”

 

M walked over, seeing everyone lower their weapons, “Yup.” she walked up to the blond, “Hello, love.” she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

 

His hands rested on the small of her back, pulling her tight against his front.

 

“Wish I was greeted in that way.” remarked Jack, earning a kick from Ianto.

 

M pulled away, clearing her throat, “These two, they’re from Torchwood.”

 

“So, they gonna help us with our ‘little problem’?” asked a young girl, who’s skin was the colour of caramel, her hair coming down in greasy ringlets that framed her bruise-dotted face.

 

Ianto could guess that the people here led a very secretive, very difficult life, and did not envy them with the exclusion of the obvious love they showed one another, like family.

 

M smiled at the girl, “They can try.  I’ve missed you, Elle.”

 

“Where the hell have you been?” asked Jonas.

 

M shrugged, “Travelling, trying to get information.  You know me.”

 

“So, have there been any recent attacks?” the boy questioned, sliding his gun into his holster.

 

M sighed, “Actually, yeah.  But first, I gotta ask… Can you make up a solution.  Ianto, suit guy, he’s suffering from Shade-induced trauma, and well, we know how that ends.”

 

“Um, sure!” he walked over to Ianto, “I’m Jonas, and you’re here at the Shade Survivors.  I know, sounds crappy, but, heh, all the good names were taken.  So, what has been happening?  What symptoms have you got?”

 

Jack answered for him, irking Ianto slightly, “He cut himself last night.” all the usual Harkness humor was gone from his voice, “I’m worried sick.”

 

“Except you can’t get sick, Jack Harkness.” Jonas smirked, “You’ve been on this planet for so long, haven’t you?”

 

Jack grabbed him by the shoulders, making Ianto flinch as he yelled, “I am so fucking tired of your bullshit!” he growled, “You and your little girlfriend.  I want him healed.  Now.”  
  


“Jack…” Ianto’s palm rested against his shoulder, the soft Welsh voice trembling in anxiety and fear, “Let him go.  Please.”

 

His boss’ hands trembled as he dropped Jonas, looking to see M glaring in utter rage.  He looked down, ashamed, then turned to Ianto.

  
“I’m sorry.” he breathed, “I just can’t lose you.”

 

Elle catcalled, “Gay!” whilst laughing, making some of the others also giggle.

 

“Calm yourselves.” Jonas chastised, “Okay, lads.  I’ll help.  Me brother an’ I will try and create a magic potion.” he laughed coldly, “Where is Louis anyway?”

 

Elle replied, “Where do you think?  He’s looking at the stars.”

 

“But it’s daytime.” Jack commented without thinking.

 

M exhaled, “Jonas’ brother is an ex-UNIT member, fired because he failed a mentality test after his youngest sister, Marianne was kidnapped, and his parents murdered.  He left with a shred of sanity and a few vials of Time Lord blood.”

 

“Blood?” Ianto asked.

  
Jonas elaborated, “Yes, blood.  It’s regenarative qualities were unrivalled, but the key to it was the intelligence.  We mixed it with a few Rift particles and found out that when administered, it could heighten the IQ of a person by two decimal points.  We named the chemical Gallifrey.41, or Liquid Information for the less civilised.  The medicine allows us to fight the Shade, with unmatched intelligence and telekinisis.  We can remember them, their powers do not work against us.” he called up a set of unsafe-looking stairs, “Louis!  Come here, we have visitors!  They’re from Torchwood.”  
  


There was a sound of shuffling, then a dark haired boy started to descend the stairs, his eyes a shining blue, a mess of black atop his head, obscuring some of his face.

  
“He’s cursed.” murmured the man, looking towards Ianto, “They’ve got you, haven’t they?  They bloody got you.” he whimpered, “They’re here… The Shade…”

 

Jonas walked to his brother, putting his hands on his shoulders, “Hey… It’s alright.  We’re gonna fix him.”

 

“Yes.  Yes we are.” muttered Louis, who began to fiddle with his hands, “Three days.  We’ll m-make something.”

 

Ianto nodded, “Thank you.”

  
“Three days?” Jack narrowed his eyes at that, “Ianto could be dead by then!  Hell no!”

 

Ianto huffed, “Jack…”

 

“No, shut up.” his voice was harsh and frightening, and he started forward, “Sooner than that.”

 

Jonas laughed humorlessly, “Yeah, we’ll pull the chemicals magically out of our arse.  I won’t give him liquid information, he’s already too intelligent, no offense to everyone else here.”  
  


“I don’t care what you do, just hurry the fuck up!” Jack hardly ever swore, except when he was truly pissed off.

 

Ianto touched held his wrist softly, his breathing shifting slightly with nerves, “Jack… please.” he murmured.

 

“Ianto, I am trying to save your life!” Jack yelled, turning around, “I can’t let you die!”

 

Ianto’s eyes filled with tears as he retorted, letting go, “Well, it’s going to happen one day!”

 

“Oh, how joyful.” groaned M, “Domestic.”

 

Jack ignored her, “Ianto…” he sighed, reaching to touch his shoulder, but was shrugged off.

 

“Don’t.” hissed his boyfriend, his blue eyes watering, “Just leave it.  I’ll be fine.”

 

M interrupted the conversation, “Yeah, until something sets you off, like an arguement, and you go home, only comforted by the knife.”  
  


“I won’t off myself.” Ianto looked to his side, where M stood, her eyes narrowed like a cat’s.

 

“Really?” Jonas sounded sincere, “Then why are you scratching your wrist?”

 

“I’m not--”

 

Jack interjected by lifting up both of Ianto’s arms, showing him the one that was marked with reddened half-moons and pulsing, bloody scabs that were starting to form.  A shudder escaped the Welshman, and he suddenly felt sick, rushing outside to catch some fresh air, dropping to his knees in the sand.  Tears rolled down his cheeks from both the row and the sight of his own blood, caused by his own hand.

 

Back when Ianto was a teenager, he had mocked such practices and habits, thinking of them as ‘stupid’ and for ‘attention whores’.  Now that he was experiencing red rolling down his wrist, he felt a sickening twist in his stomach that enjoyed the infliction, the sting of pain.

 

The giant doors of the warehouse opened, and Ianto felt Jack come up behind him, kneeling beside him.  He felt his boyfriend press a kiss to the top of his head and stroke his hands comfortingly over his shoulder blades.

  
“Shh…” he soothed, “It’s okay…”

 

Ianto whimpered, “I’m sorry.”

  
One of Jack’s hands tilted Ianto’s face up, blue eyes meeting in a sorrowful glance, Ianto’s slightly red as he tried to keep his composure.  Jack softly kissed him, then broke away to press his lips to Ianto’s temple caringly.

 

“I am too.” he mumbled.

 

There was a sound of a door opening, a sarcastic ‘awh’ that faded off into a yawn, “Well, as sweet as this is, you lads should head back to the Hub.  I’ll come with, if you want.” M stood smiling, “You can perform some tests… I know that you’ve wanted to give me a brain scan for a while now.”

 

“Your flirting is rubbish.” Jack grumbled.

 

\--

 

“Right…” Dr Owen Harper huffed as he read the x-rays of M’s brain, “You’re an enigma.”  
  


M laughed, “That’s a new one.  But I like it.  Kind of an unusual term of endearment, but certainly flattering.  You’re saying I’m unique, which I kind of am.”  
  


“What I’m saying, darling, is that you shouldn’t really be alive.” Owen lifted up the charts, “If you look and see, your brain is pressed tightly up against your skull.  Plus, your heartrate is at least two times too fast, and your breathing is unusually quick too.”  
  
Ianto narrowed his eyes, “Two times?  But… that isn’t possible.  She should have a heart attack.”  
  


“Clearly it is possible.” Owen stated, “You should tell us about your Doctor, Jack.  Might help us get to the bottom of this.” he turned to his boss.

 

Before Jack could speak, M explained, “Time Lords have two hearts.  I have one.  So my heart is beating extra rapidly.”  
  


“Okay…” Owen held up a tube of red liquid, “Your blood doesn’t seem human either.” he poured some out onto a petri dish and lifted Toshiko’s microscope onto the table, peering at the substance, his eyes going wide when he saw what he saw, “Ianto, mate?  Come here, have a look at this…”

 

Ianto hopped down the stairs and made his way over, kneeling in front of the microscope, “Holy shit… That’s just… That’s just impossible.”

 

“What is it?” asked Jack.

 

Ianto stepped aside, allowing his boss to take a look.  Magnified to the point of human possibility, dots of numbers and letters were engraved in M’s blood.  
  
“Well crap.” Jack hissed.

 

M huffed, “Well, thanks for telling me that I’m a freak.  I already knew that, idiot.”

 

“A ‘freak’?” Ianto scoffed, “Your blood is made up of tiny letters and numbers.”

 

M crossed her arms, “It’s a side effect.”

 

“A ‘side effect’?” Owen barked a laugh, “I’ve never even seen this before!  Bloody hell!”  
  


M rolled her eyes, “Stop making a fuss.  I’m still alive.”

 

“You really shouldn’t be, no offense.” Ianto said, trying to be as polite as possible.

 

She rolled her eyes, “You say the sweetest things, my little Welsh man.”

 

“I try my best.” he gave a small twitch of a smirk.

 

M sighed, “I’ll make sure they don’t give you the same serum as me, don’t worry.  I’m not a bitch, just a psychopath.”

 

“I know which one I’d rather be.” Gwen muttered.

 

M rolled her eyes, “You don’t have to try to be a bitch, love.”

 

“Excuse me?” Gwen scoffed, “You don’t even know me!”

 

M let the words roll off her tongue, “Gwen Elizabeth Cooper, daughter of Mary and Geraint Cooper, ex police constable.  Engaged to Rhys Williams, who works for Harwood’s lorries and is aware of Torchwood but not your supposed feelings for Jack, they’re just lust by the way, or your little short trystathon with Owen.” she smiled, then added, “Although, you did tell him the latter once before but you ended up retconning him.” she tilted her head, chuckling darkly, “Have I missed anything?”

 

“You little bitch!” Gwen shouted in a fit of anger before starting forward, only to be stopped by Jack, who touched her shoulders.

 

Her face was flushed red from embarrassment, but also fury and when she looked, she saw M casually stick out her tongue, no regret upon her face at all.

 

“Leave the room, Gwen.” Jack commanded, his blue eyes hard and serious, breaking his normal sense of humor, he was aware that the mysterious girl that sat behind him was very good with her choice of words and knew the exact things about a person’s life to break them.

 

She was dangerous -- that was for sure.

 

Gwen scowled, then turned to leave, M sarcastically waving at her, grinning.  Ianto gave her a scornful look, whilst Owen looked confused.

 

“She retconned him?” he asked, every word ending with a slight pause, then a stare of disbelief, “Well, then…”

 

M murmured, “The sex must’ve been really bad then.”

 

“Can you not be a bitch -- sorry, psychopath -- for five seconds…” Ianto practically begged, “Please?”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Oh, alright… Just for you, my love.”

 

“And stop with the flirting!” Jack hissed.

 

She retorted in a sing-song voice, “Hypocrite!” his eyes lit up with anger, and she faux pouted, “Awh… Jealous?  That’s how poor Ianto here must feel the majority of the time you’re flirting with the rest of the known universe.”

 

“Look, I stopped Gwen from attacking you.” he growled, “And I don’t like to hit girls.  Especially little girls.”

 

She narrowed her eyes, hopping off the table, “I take that as a challenge.”  
  


“Challenge would mean you’d have a chance at winning, sorry!” Jack hissed.

 

She shrugged, “I stand by what I said.” then quickly swept him off his feet with a quick kick out of her leg, his body crashing to the ground.  She rested her foot against his throat, frowning and tilting her head, “Come on, old man.  I could’ve killed you by now.” he made an attempt to get up but she pushed him back down telekinetically.

 

“Come on…” he groaned, “That’s cheating.”

 

She released him, wiping the droplet of blood dripping from her nose away, turning her back on her opponent.  Jack got up and was about to sneak attack her, but with a head shake from Ianto and a sudden call from Toshiko, he decided against it.

 

“What is it, Tosh?” he asked as he walked over to her workstation, his pride hurt.

 

She looked in horror at her monitor, seeing words begin to type in red block capitals on a black background.  Both of her hands weren’t on the keyboard, so it was definitely not her typing.

 

The message finished typing, and Jack read it out.

 

“‘Time to die.’”

 

 


	6. Chapter Five

Jack’s eyes roamed the lettering upon the screen again, his heart jumping.  He didn’t fear death because he knew cruel fate and dumb luck would force him back, but what he did fear was losing those whom he loved, who were all he had in life.  Toshiko, Gwen, Owen.  Ianto.  His Ianto.  The fiercely loyal (save two occasions which they didn’t discuss), the loving, caring boyfriend.  Jack was scared of the inevitable.

 

M nudged Toshiko, and when the technician moved, she sat in her seat, peering at the message before rolling her eyes, “So dramatic.” she muttered, then pressed a few keys, clicking away from it, “Boring.”

 

“‘Boring’?” Ianto scoffed, “This is your idea of boring?”

 

M nodded, “I rarely have ordinary days.”

 

“Same with me, but I’m not crazy.” Ianto remarked.

 

M added, “You aren’t a cold-blooded murderer either.” as the others glared at her, she shrugged, “What?  You all go about slaughtering ET and you think it’s good.  I can admit, I have killed my fair share of people.”  
  


“You don’t look like a killer.” Owen stated, “Too skinny, too short, not very strong.”

 

She cast her glare towards the Londoner, “Ask Jack how weak I am.” her mouth widened in a smirk, “Killing is the only pleasure I get.”

 

“So…” Ianto tried to think how someone so young, so innocent looking was so proud of being a murderer, not that he truly believed her, “You feel nothing?”

 

She got up off Toshiko’s chair, “Didn’t say that.  Now… I could reroute and triangulate the… hmm…” she sat back down, typing frantically, easing her way through the files and bringing back up the message from before, only a smaller version, “Someone was controlling the computer screen, I can trace them, the Shade could be forcing humans to help them with mind control.”

 

“You’re muttering, dear.” Ianto announced, touching M’s shoulder.

 

As soon as he did so, her whole body went taut, and she shot to her feet in an instant, “Don’t fucking touch me!” she shouted, her eyes wild.

 

“I-I’m sorry.” Ianto held up his hands.

 

She gave an empty laugh, reaching for her gun, “Why am I helping you?  What am I doing?”

 

“Hey…” Jack stepped forward when he saw her pick up the weapon, “Put that away.”

 

She narrowed her eyes, “The thing is, I am crazy.  I am fucking insane.  And I like it…” she lowered her pistol, then gestured to Ianto, “Now you, gorgeous, come with me.”

 

“Why me?” Ianto groaned.

 

She shrugged, “Because you’re the cutest?”

 

“I have a boyfriend.” he hissed under his breath.

 

She retorted, “So do I.” then winked playfully, “C’mon.”

 

“Ianto, no…” Jack breathed.

 

M huffed, “He’s a big boy, Jack.  Don’t worry, I’ll return him at a suitable time.” her eyes roamed over his features, “If I decide to at all, that is.”

 

“I’ll go with you, despite the feeling that you’re probably going to murder me.” Ianto said, picking up his pistol, then his coat.

 

Jack came up behind him, “Are you sure about this?”

 

“I’ll be fine, Jack.” Ianto promised, “I’ll see you later.”

 

His Captain wrapped his arms around him in a brief but protective hug, his lips pressing the side of his head.  When Ianto was released, he followed M out of the Hub.

 

“So… are we walking or…?” he shrugged, “I didn’t bring my car because I came with Jack.  You know that.”

 

She smiled sneakily, “Which is why I stole this…” she lifted up the keys to Jack’s SUV.

 

\--

 

Whilst watching the camera, Jack saw M with his keys in her hands and uncharacteristically yelled, “Fuck!”

 

Gwen searched on her desk, “Er… Jack?  Where’s my bluetooth device?”

 

“That cheeky bitch.” Owen remarked, unable to stop the smirk curling his lips.

 

\--

 

“He is going to kill you, you know…” Ianto stated, and when he saw something plugged into her ear, he groaned, “Is that a comms device?”

 

She nodded, “Gwen’s.  Figured she wouldn’t use it, you know, being useless and everything.”

 

“She isn’t that bad!” Ianto defended, “She’s a laugh once you get to know her!”

 

She shrugged, “I act on first impressions.  And from what I know… wow, her first day, she acted like she owned the place!”

 

“Just because you know everything doesn’t mean you really know anything.” Ianto knew that his sentence made no sense, and when she arched an eyebrow, crossing her arms, he regretted it leaving his lips.

 

She walked over to the SUV and unlocked it, “Come on, Ianto.”

 

“Get away from my car!” Jack’s voice hissed in her ear through the bluetooth device, and she laughed.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jack…”

 

He watched on the screen as she and Ianto got into the car and cursed again, only even louder.

 

“Ooh, language.” she said as she pushed the key into the ignition, “Sorry, I slipped.  Don’t worry, Jack, I’m only borrowing your boyfriend for a coupl’a hours, then you can have him back.”

 

Jack commanded, “You look after him, you hear me?  If he is hurt even just a little bit, I will kill you.”

 

“You are a very mean person.” she pouted, “I don’t like mean.  I must be the only lass in the world to think you’re just… meh.  ‘Meh’ describes you very well.”

 

She reversed the car out of the parking lot then began to drive herself and Ianto to the destination, turning off the earpiece.

 

“Where exactly are we going again?” Ianto asked.

 

She rolled her eyes, “Do you never learn?  We’re going to find the people the Shade are controlling.”  
  


“And then what?” Ianto asked.

 

She shrugged, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

 

“Back there… you sort of… lost control for a minute.” Ianto swallowed, “D-Does that happen often?”

 

She nodded, “It’s called insanity.”

 

“You’re not insane.” Ianto murmured, “There must’ve been something to set it off… like the serum… no, wait, the others seemed normal… some kind of loss?  Abuse?”

 

“Ianto?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Shut the fuck up.” she snarled and roughly turned the corner, making Ianto groan slightly.

 

He gripped onto his seat lightly, “Understood.”

 

\--

 

When they reached the compound, M was already annoyed with having to put off with Ianto’s nervous chatter.  Normally, he could be invisible and quiet, but M was such an interesting person, and he wanted to find out her real name.

 

“So why are you doing this anyway?  Why would the Shade target you?” he asked.

 

She replied vaguely, “Lets say I’m doing this for a friend.”

 

“One day, you’ll not be so cryptic.” Ianto mumbled.

 

She took out her gun, flicking off the safety, “Yeah, when I’m dead.” she kicked down the door, yelling suddenly, “Honey, I’m home!”

 

“That makes no sense.” groaned Ianto, his own pistol sliding into his hand as he raised it.

 

She frowned, “Well, I could’ve went with ‘Here’s Johnny!’, but I thought it was a tad pretentious, no?”

 

“Who the hell are you?” a voice called, and a figure clad in a long lab coat walked over, his face marred with utter confusion, “I-I’m calling security.”  
  


M stated, “No, you’re not.” then swiftly, emotionlessly emptied a bullet into his skull.

 

The crack of a bullet leaving a gun made Ianto jump, and although he had seen death before and had joked about M being a psychopath, he hadn’t really expected her to start killing.  He had seen her angered and threatening to murder somebody, but this sort of apathy was not natural.

 

With a rush of strength, Ianto pushed the young girl against the nearest wall, holding her wrists down so she couldn’t shoot at him, “Why the hell did you do that?”

 

“He was trying to stop me from getting what I wanted.” she hissed back coldly, then pushed him off her with her own strength, pulling him to pin him against the wall in the way he had just done to her.  She aimed the gun at his forehead and felt his gun against her stomach, “Go ahead.” she challenged, “Difference between us?  I’m not afraid to die, and I never will be.  You?  You’re scared to become a murderer.” she snarled, “Do not ever touch me like that again, otherwise your unrequited love will be the least of your fucking problems.” the fire in her eyes dissipated as she released Ianto.

 

He lowered dropped his weapon to the floor, swallowing and anxiously changing the subject, “What’re we doing here?”

 

“I’ve got a few questions for the leader of this joint.” she replied, putting her gun in her belt.

 

He fiddled with his sleeves, “And… and how are you going to find him?”

 

“Well, I’ll just have to kill everyone until I do.” she smirked.

 

Ianto paled at that, “Why did you have to bring me along?”

 

“You’re gonna have to toughen up, pretty boy.” she walked over to the wall and punched through the plaster, wincing slightly.

 

She grabbed a hold of the wires inside, then tugged hard, some coming away in her hand as all the lights in the building went out.

 

“Are you mad?” Ianto yelled, then thought to himself, ‘of course she is’.

 

She rolled her eyes, “Pick up your weapon, we’re about to get company.”

 

Ianto lifted his pistol off the floor uneasily, then watched as (as if on cue) people in white lab coats and men in black uniforms filed in, the men in black carrying guns.  M tossed back her head, roaring a laugh before handspringing over a table and wrapping the discarded wire in her hand around one of the guards and pulling until there was a loud crack and he flopped forward, the others standing in awe.

 

“Go ahead.” she said, dropping the body in front of her, “Shoot me.  I dare you.” One of the guards aimed his gun at her and she scoffed, snarkily muttering, “You compensating for something there, pally?  Big gun, small cock?” then disarmed him with ease, aiming his own weapon at him, “Ianto, buddy?  Could use a bit of assistance.”  
  


He shook his head, “No!”

 

“Oh, alright then.” she rolled her eyes, “Bloody amateurs.”

 

She opened fire and one by one, the guards started to fall until there was only two left.  She cast her borrowed weapon to the side and tilted her head.

 

“You’re not shooting at me.” she noted, “Maybe because your little masters know who I am and know I am not someone they wanna piss off.” she shrugged, “Never mind.” she raised her hands, and the two remaining guards lifted their guns towards each other.

 

Ianto cried, horrified by the crash of bodies around him, “Stop!”

 

“Why should I?” she asked, “They’re already gone, under the influence of the Shade.”

 

He swallowed back tears, “Because they’re human, like you!  Have you no fucking mercy?”

 

“Lemme think about it.” she made a thinking face, then lifted her head sharply, “Nope.  Kaboom.” and with the last syllables of her words, she telekinetically pushed the triggers on each of her victim’s guns, the gunshots sending their brains over the floor.

 

Ianto watched the two bodies slide to the ground, then looked at the frozen scientists in their lab coats, who were all cowering and crying, just as scared as he was.  He had just watched a young girl tear through at least twenty people.

 

“Right, idiots, take me to your leader.” she commanded, and when none of them complied, she reached down and pulled a small but sharp blade out of her sock, pulling one of the people into her arms and slashing their throat, blood spurting over her clothes, “I said take me, and unless you want me to Sweeney Todd your arses, you’re going to tell me.”

 

Ianto shook his head, “Please stop.  This is horrible.”

 

“You want them stopped, don’t you?” she narrowed her eyes.

 

Ianto replied, raising his voice, “Of course I do!  But not like this!  Torchwood doesn’t kill people -- well, not humans -- well, you know what I mean!”

 

“These creatures are messing with your head!” she shouted, “Don’t you want them dead?”

 

Ianto did something he shouldn’tve then, he slapped her, not too hard, “Stop this!” he snarled, “You’re becoming a monster.”

 

She looked up at him with fury in his eyes, “This is your fault.  I must say, my temper is bad enough already, but you just made it a whole of a lot worse.” she clenched her fist, and the wires she had used to strangle the guard snaked up Ianto’s body and around his wrists, restraining him, the hold tight enough to leave bruises.  He was pulled to his knees by an invisible force and he looked to see that M’s nose was profusely dripping with blood.

 

“Let me go!” he panicked, trying to pull himself free, normally a master of knots, but the tug of telekinisis too strong, “M, please, just… Just stop!  I’m sorry, now stop.”

 

She knelt in front of him and stroked his cheek with an unfamiliar friendliness, adding to Ianto’s theory that she was possibly bipolar, “Oh, darling.  Apologies aren’t good enough.” She got back up and walked to the scientists, the doors slamming shut, “Instead of cowering, you guys should’ve ran.  Come on, I thought you were the smart ones.  I mean, you managed to hack a computer, that’s well, actually pretty basic, but you’re scientists.  This is a research facility for the Shade, you’re meant to be geniuses.  Shows how stupid us humans truly are.”

 

She lifted her blade, and Ianto closed his eyes, wishing he was deaf for a moment so he couldn’t hear the screams and cries and pleads as M murdered the workers, because of him.  All he wanted was to be near Jack, to be held by Jack.  Tears splashed down his cheeks, and he felt guilt churn his guts into mash.

 

He felt the hold on his body loosen, although his binds remained, and he was pulled to his feet by the killer.

  
“Did I upset you?” she asked, wiping away his tears.

 

He opened his eyes, avoiding looking to his side, “Why would you do that?  They were under an influence and they weren’t going to kill you!”

 

“Because I don’t care.” was her reply, and it was empty.

 

He rose his voice, “How can’t you care?”

 

“Because I once felt so much pain that I had to not care to survive.” she replied, her face blank, “I wish you could understand, I wish you could know.  I wish I wasn’t alone in the world.”

 

He cried, “You wonder why you are alone?”

 

“No, I know why.” she blinked, “I just accepted it.  Now, come on, this dude should be here somewhere.”

 

He shook his head, feeling sick, “I can’t… no more.”

 

“Well, you don’t have a choice.” she pulled him along, “People die, Ianto.  It’s a lesson that everyone has to learn.”  
  


They went up to the ‘Boss’ Office’, and M knocked, “Express delivery!” she called.

 

No reply.

 

“Maybe they left.” Ianto swallowed.

 

She grumbled, “I hope not.  I hate anti-climaxes.  They’re the worst kind.”

 

“Ugh.”

 

She kicked open the door then gasped when the sound of a shotgun rung, looking to see an automated weapon, aimed directly for them.  She pushed Ianto out of the way in the nick of time before either of them could get shot.

 

“Whew.” she exhaled, “That was close.”  
  


Ianto’s breathing was erratic, “You saved my life!”

 

“Told Jack I’d get you back in one piece.” she turned around and saw that there was nobody in the room, “Damn.  Guess you were right, Ianto.  Guy took a runner.  Oh well, I’ll find him.”

 

Ianto groaned, “C-Can you undo these, please?”

 

“Not used to a bit of BDSM?” she saw his look of pain, “Oh, fine.  I’ll return you and the car to your boyfriend, I’m keeping the earpiece though, I look rather sexy in it.” she flicked her wrist, and the constricting pain on Ianto’s wrists loosened.

 

He raised his sleeves and saw red and black blotches from the metal of the wire and the pressure had already drawn blood and was starting to form bruises.  He would have to hide those.

 

“What are we doing with the bodies?” he asked.

 

She smirked slightly, “Go wait in the car.”  
  


He obeyed, too frightened of her to argue.  She was both terrifying and for some reason pitiable with her mood swings.  Ianto swore for a second he smelled gasoline, and looked out of the window, seeing M begin to powerwalk from the building, smiling in a way reminiscent of a Cheshire cat, but also of the devil.  There was something of the big bad beast in her eyes, the one whom he had been warned about growing up.

 

She pulled something out of her pocket, and Ianto gasped when he realised it was a match.  She wouldn’t… would she?

 

She struck the match across the wall of the building, then threw it through the door, a massive bang immediately resounding.  Ianto gagged at the smell of burning flesh, looking horrified as M clambered into his car, passing him his pistol.  He considered for a second, emptying it into her skull, but he knew he wasn’t capable of cold-blooded murder, despite an absent thought telling him he was, that he had killed someone before.  Perhaps in a past life.

 

“If Jack comes after me, I will kill you.” hissed M as she started to drive, her makeup-darkened eyes stopping on Ianto’s mirror, “Have you got that?”

 

He nodded, blinking a few times to hold back the tears and vomit from everything he had witnessed.

 

\--

 

Later on, after M had dropped him off and Ianto had miraculously survived the whole day without his arms being noticed by Jack, he was once again followed home by Jack, despite his protests.

 

“Are you ever going to leave me alone?” Ianto asked, grabbing himself a shirt.

 

Jack smirked, “I believe this is called being a concerned boyfriend.”

 

“There’s a difference between concerned and clingy.” he looked over his shoulder, “Could you, um, could you turn away?”

 

Jack was confused at that, “Why?  It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, you know that.”

 

“I know… It’s just…” Ianto swallowed, coming up with an excuse, “I’ll just go for a shower.”

 

Jack cocked an eyebrow, “Can I join you?”

 

“No!” Ianto said, a bit too harshly, “I mean, I’m fine, thank you.  I’d just like to go for a shower alone, sir.”

 

Jack groaned, pinching the bridge of his own nose, “How many times… We’re off duty, you don’t need to call me that.”  
  


“Well, you don’t need to follow me home!” Ianto snapped, “I mean, it’s not like we’re serious or anything!”

 

Jack gave a look of hurt, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?  I’m just trying to protect you!”

 

“I don’t need your protection.” huffed Ianto, sitting down, “We both know that I’m just a shag.”  
  


Jack’s face softened, and he cupped Ianto’s cheek, “Who’s been saying this?”

 

“My conscience.” Ianto looked down.

 

Jack tilted his face up, “Look at me, Ianto…” after a beat, Ianto complied, “You are so much more than ‘just a shag’, Ianto Jones, okay?  You’re the best thing I have in my life.”

 

“Yeah, at this minute.” Ianto mumbled, “You’re immortal, I’m not.”

 

Jack sighed, “That doesn’t matter to me.  Just this limited time with you is both enough and terrifying.”

 

“I shouldn’t have snapped.” Ianto admitted, “I was being an arsehole.”  
  


Jack stroked his cheek, “We’ll sort this, okay?” when Ianto nodded, he kissed him softly and briefly before pulling away, “Go for your shower and we can do something after.” before Ianto could groan at that, he smirked, “I meant watch a movie.  I can do this whole boyfriend thing, you know.”

 

“I’m still not used to it.” Ianto sighed, “I don’t know, maybe it’s just me…”

 

Jack kissed him again, only this time it was lingering and breathtaking, and when he finally inched away, he mumbled, “I don’t think you’re doing too badly.  Now away get your shower.”

 

Ianto made sure to take a long-sleeved shirt to change into, and when he stood in the spray of the water, droplets rolling down his skin, he couldn’t help but think of all the people he had gotten killed.  M was a force to be reckoned with, a raging psychopath and obviously damaged.  The way she got mad at a simple slap and didn’t like being touched made Ianto think of the possibility of some abuse, perhaps that would explain her anger which was aimed in particular at men (and Gwen).

 

He ran a hand through his hair, his mind flashing with the memories of all the blood, all the screaming, the bodies.  All his fault.  He agitated her.  He got those people killed.  Innocent people who had lost their lives because he had pissed off a sociopath.

 

He got out of the shower a few minutes later, swiftly getting dressed.  He heard the murmur of his television and saw Jack holding the television remote in his hand, the starting menu of ‘A Nightmare On Elm Street’ upon Ianto’s screen.  On the table in front was a bowl of popcorn as well as a large bottle of coke.

 

“Impressive.” Ianto smiled, “So, you pop to the shops whilst I was in the shower?”

 

Jack grinned up at him, “You were taking a while.”

 

“Awh, sorry.” the Welshman sat beside his boyfriend, curling into his side, “‘Nightmare on Elm Street’, really?”

 

Jack laughed, “I know, with the lives we lead, horror movies are bad rip offs.”

 

“I was one year old when this film came out.” Ianto stated, “God, I’m getting old.  I vaguely remember Nirvana and Pearl Jam.  I went through a phase.”

 

Jack smiled, pressing his lips to Ianto’s temple and pressing the play button, “I’dve liked to see that.”

 

“Nuh uh.” Ianto shook his head, “Grungey Ianto was horrifying and-and grumpy and all the pictures have been thoroughly disposed of.”

 

Jack let his thumb brush Ianto’s shoulder, “I’m sure he was very cute whilst he lasted.”

 

“Shut up.” Ianto was going red.

 

Jack laughed, “Ianto Jones, are you blushing?”

 

“Eat the bloody popcorn!” Ianto said, grabbing a handful and shoving it into his boyfriend’s mouth.

  
Jack chewed it and swallowed, “Hey!” he laughed, kissing Ianto, fingers digging into his shoulder.

 

“Mmf…” Ianto kissed back with fervour, forgetting his painful arm for a second and chuckling when Jack paused the movie.

 

Jack returned to kissing Ianto, his lips fluttering over his pulse, hand sliding up the younger’s to join hands until…

 

Ianto winced and froze.  Jack instantly shot up, thinking he had hurt him, or had perhaps touched his cut and scratches.

 

“What is it?” Jack asked, “What’s wrong?”  
  


Ianto lied, “N-Nothing.”  
  


“Let me see.”

 

“N-”

 

Jack’s voice grew harsher, “I said, let me see, Ianto!” he calmed slightly when Ianto began to tremble, and stroked his shoulders, “Please let me see…”

 

Ianto pulled up his sleeves, “It w-was wire… dug into my skin.”  
  


“Did you do this to yourself?” Jack traced the lines with his finger gently.

 

Ianto shook his head, “No, I didn’t.”  
  


“Someone did this to you?” Jack looked furious, “Who?”

  
Ianto looked down, tears filling his eyes, “Sh-She killed all those people… I made her mad.”  
  


“Ianto?” Jack forced him to look up at him, “Ianto, baby, who did this to you?”

 

He replied flatly, “M.  She killed some people there, and she wanted to speak with the leader, I hit her, and then she forced me stand by whilst she slaughtered the lot of them.  She’s a monster, and I-I enraged her.”

 

“She hurt you.” Jack stroked his cheek, looking angered, “She promised she’d protect you.”

 

Ianto flinched, “She lied.” then felt everything begin to shatter, like a dam breaking.

 

“Oh, Ianto Jones…” Jack pulled him close, feeling him start to sob.

  
He pressed a kiss to the top of Ianto’s head, rocking him.  Next time he saw M he wouldn’t just slap her.  He’d fucking kill her.  Nobody hurt his Ianto like that and got away with it.

 

Nobody.

 

 


	7. Chapter Six

The following morning, M awoke to the sound of her hotel room door being battered.  She raised her head, her brunette hair falling messily in front of her eyes.  She clambered out, already guessing whom her visitor was.

 

When she opened the door, Jack was standing there, his arms crossed whilst Ianto was nervously leaning against her wall, looking like a kid who had told on a bully, and now his parents were dealing with it.

 

“Morning, sunshines.” she greeted, “So, m’guessing by the look on your face that Ianto told you what he did?”

 

Jack’s glare hardened, “He told me you went on a little spree, and I saw the marks on his arm.”  
  


“He pissed me off.” she stated.

 

Jack growled, his hand smashing against the doorframe, “That is no excuse!  I told you to protect him, to keep him safe and what do you do?  You hurt him!”

 

“Has anybody told you how overdramatic you are?” she rolled her eyes, “You’re making a scene.”

 

He snapped at her venomously, “I don’t care.  I should kill you.”  
  


“Stop trying to impress your boyfriend, Harkness.” she stepped to the side, “And if you’re going to shout, I’d rather not be chucked out of this nice place.  How did you know I was here anyway?”  
  


Ianto replied, not meeting eyes with her, “Tosh tracked your cell, you texted me yesterday.”

 

“I hate not being the only smart one in town.” M frowned, “Fuck’s sake…”

 

Jack shuffled into the room, “How do you even pay for this?  You don’t have a job as far as we know.”

 

“I have… other means of payment.” she replied, ducking her head slightly, “The owner drives a hard bargain, pardon the pun--”  
  


Ianto looked horrified, “You let him-- Oh, my God.”

 

“Yeah, your God.” she scoffed, “Never did me any good.  But anyway, you were here to complain...”  
  


Jack grabbed her by the shoulders, fingernails digging into her skin, “You hurt my boyfriend.  This isn’t complaining.”

 

“You have two seconds to let me go before I start breaking bones.” she warned, looking down at his hands.

 

Ianto jumped, “Jack!  Let her go, please.  She’s a kid, just stop.”

 

“Why?” Jack growled.

 

Ianto replied, “Because if you hurt her, you’re as bad as her!”

 

“Listen to the voice of reason Jack.” she told him, “I mean, before I break your glabella, then your cervical vertebrae, then rip out your oesophagus.  I know how to.  I know how to tear off your skin piece by piece without killing you and--”

 

Ianto groaned, “Shut the hell up.” then wrapped his hands loosely around Jack’s wrists, “Hey.  Let go.”

 

Jack pushed her away, proclaiming, “You got lucky.”

 

“You think you’re clever, Jack Harkness, but I can confirm several doubts in Ianto’s mind that will tear your relationship apart.” she smirked, “Now, we don’t want that, do we?”

 

Ianto raised his voice, “Why are you so flipping childish!  You are acting like a baby throwing it’s toys out of the cot!  Can’t you shut up?”

 

“You hit me and he grabbed me!” she retorted, “I need surety that you won’t shoot me!”

 

Ianto tilted his head, “Are you frightened?  The one who apparently knows all?”

 

“I don’t know everything.” she crossed her arms, “And I’m not frightened.”

 

Ianto added, “But you are psychotic.”

 

“Psychotic has ‘hot’ in it.” she winked.

 

Jack groaned, “And you’re back to flirting.  Wonderful.”

 

“You love it.” she whispered in a sultry tone, “And so does your boyfriend.”

 

Ianto huffed, “I’m liking you less and less by the second.”  
  


“How many people did you kill?” Jack asked.

 

She shrugged, “Wasn’t really counting.  Too busy slaughtering to count.” she saw Ianto grimace in disgust, “Aw, dinnae give me that look, love, it breaks my heart.”

 

“Shut up or I’ll throw you to our pet weevil.” Jack snapped.

 

Ianto rolled her eyes, putting his hands on his hips, “Did you seriously threaten her with Janet?”

 

“Did you seriously call a weevil Janet?” M asked, amusement written on her face.

 

Jack retorted, “Well, what would you have called it?”

 

“Fang.  Blood.  Ripper.  Doomageddon the Destroyer!” she threw her hands up, “Something fierce that doesn’t make it sound like a housewife!”

 

Ianto somehow managed to keep a straight face at that, “We should go to the Hub, see if there’s any signs of more murders.”  
  


“The murders go unreported, idiot.” M rolled her eyes, “This is a veiled attempt for you to try and do more tests on me, I can see right through it.”

 

Ianto sighed, “Actually, I want you to try and be nice to Gwen for at least five minutes.”  
  


“Oh God.” she facepalmed, “Get out, I’m in my jim jams, I need to dress properly.”

 

\--

 

“Okay…” Owen murmured, peering inquisitively into the microscope, “So your heart rate remains the same, as does your blood.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Well, my weird-arse blood type wasn’t exactly going to change overnight, was it?”

  
Gwen’s voice caught her attention as she came rushing in, having just been told by Jack what had occurred last night, “I am going to bloody slap you, woman!  You made Ianto watch you-- your little spree and you think you can just come back in here and sit about?”

 

“Actually, I was invited.” M stated calmly, “I already got the lecture of Captain Cockhead.”

 

Gwen narrowed her eyes at the girl who sat perched on the autopsy table, “How can you just condone yourself doing this?  Killing?”

 

“I don’t care.” M deadpanned, “And I get the job done.”

 

Gwen shook her head, “No, no, there’s got to be more than that… more than this.  You can’t just be a cold-blooded killer because you feel like it.  It’s something else.”  
  


“Gwen, love, I get that you have your own idea of the world, but you’re going to have to wake up from your dreamworld.” she smirked slightly, leaning closer, “People kill.  Some do it indiscriminately and don’t even pity their victims.”

 

Gwen pulled away, and was about to slap M, but was stopped by a stabbing pain in her palm as the skin was stretched tighter over the bones.  She cried out, falling to her knees from the sheer shock, and looked up to see M glaring at her, teeth clenched in anger, eyes focused, a trail of blood running out of her nose.

 

“Let her go.” there was a click as Owen pressed his pistol against M’s cranium, “Let her go, or I’ll blow your brains out!”

 

Jack ran in, hearing the commotion, “What the hell is happen-- Gwen!” he jumped the balcony of the autopsy staircase, landing with a clatter in front of one of the beds, wincing at the impact, “M, stop it!”

 

“She was going to hit me.” M snarled forcefully, “It was self defense.”

 

Jack held up his hands, “Look, I believe you, but don’t hurt her, or we will stop you!”

 

“You’ll stop me?” she hopped off the table, looking his way, Owen still aiming the gun at her head, “How?  I can stop any bullets in your guns…” she cast a glare towards Owen, the gun going flying from his hand, “I can break every bone in your body.”

 

Jack sighed, “Just stop.  I’ll do anything.”  
  


“You know she thinks she’s in love with you?” she blinked.

 

Jack felt his face heat up, of course he knew, it was pretty obvious, but he didn’t love Gwen like that, “Look, don’t hurt her.” he paused, “Please.”

 

“Well, since you asked nicely,” she clenched her fist once, then the sharp tug in Gwen’s hand stopped.

 

Gwen flopped around in agony as the aftershocks washed over her, weeping, and Jack knelt beside her, touching her shoulders gently, thumbs stroking a pattern.

 

“Go home.” he whispered, comfortingly, “Go to Rhys, be safe.” then leant forward and pressed a platonic kiss to her forehead.

 

She looked up, her eyes like a frightened doe as he helped her up, her heart throbbing so fast that she could hear it in her ears, her hand still uncomfortably stinging.  She gave a silent nod, then headed out, ghosting past Toshiko and Ianto, who was making coffee anxiously, giving both a small, startled smile.

 

When Jack heard the Hub doors shut, he turned to M, “Why did you attack her?”

 

“I told you.” she crossed her arms, “Self-defense.”

 

Tosh called through, “Jack!  Murder report!”

 

“What the--” M rushed through, and smirked at the screen, “One managed to get through, one little child managed to phone them.  Aha!”

 

Jack looked at the Police scanner, “Can you tell them Torchwood is dealing with it?”

 

There was a clicking of the keyboard, then Tosh said, “Done.”

 

“Looks like we’re going on a road trip.” proclaimed M, “I’ll go wait by the SUV.”

 

Tosh and Owen looked at each other and nodded, “So will we.” Owen said, “Make sure she doesn’t break anything.” and they both left.

 

“Ianto?” Jack looked up.

  
Ianto flinched slightly, “Y-Yes, sir?”

 

“You don’t have to call me that.” Jack griped for what felt to him like the millionth time, “And… do you want to come along?”

 

Ianto swallowed, “And see some more bodies?  Didn’t do too well last time, did I?”

 

“So you’re staying on your own?” Jack asked, leaning against the banister.

 

Ianto sighed in realisation, “I don’t have a choice but to come with, do I?”

 

“Not really, sorry.  I just… I gotta keep an eye on you.” Jack took his hand.

 

Ianto huffed, “I understand.  And it’s just for a few days, isn’t it?”

 

“How are you feeling?” his thumb stroked over Ianto’s knuckles.

 

Ianto shrugged, “Half of me is so frightened, and the other half is yelling all these things at me that I haven’t thought about since…”

 

“Since what?” Jack cupped his cheek, seeing the look of guilt drown Ianto.

 

The Welshman exhaled, “Since Lisa.  And it’s been almost a year, and I thought it was getting better and--”

 

“Hey…” Jack hushed him with a gentle kiss, “You’re only human.  And this isn’t you thinking this.  It’s the Shade.  It’s making you feel what you don’t deserve to.  You don’t deserve pain.”

 

Ianto blinked a few times to stop himself from crying, “Don’t I?  I mean, everything that’s happened because of me… God…”

 

“Ianto Jones, you’re not a bad person.” Jack spoke, almost forcefully, “You’ve just had bad stuff happen to you.  Everything that happens, that had happened, Lisa, it’s in the past, okay?  And I forgive you.”

 

Ianto nodded, and breathed, “We should probably get going before M murders us.” he reflected on his own words then nervously added, “Oh, I made a murder joke about a murderer.  Ha ha.”

 

“You’re going to be okay.  I won’t let her hurt you.” Jack swore before pressing his lips to Ianto’s in a lingering, passionate kiss.

 

Ianto reciprocated the gesture, wiring his hands into Jack’s hair as he was pulled gently down onto the floor off the final step, stumbling slightly.  He pulled away with a slight gasp, then looked up, his eyes burning with adoration of the man who stood in front of him -- the man who saved his life.

 

He knew that without his Jack, the amazing, complicated egomaniac, he would have died by that point.

 

“Oi!  Lovebirds!” Owen’s voice called through the comms, “We’re not waiting forever.”

 

Jack gave a nod, “We’ll be right there!” he outstretched his hand, “So, Ianto Jones, do you want to come with me?”

 

“Hardly a romantic date, but…” he took his boss’ hand, “Okay.”

 

When they arrived at the SUV, M was squashed into the side by Tosh and Owen, and she was ranting consistently about it.

 

“Look, just because I’m a psychopath doesn’t mean I don’t deserve suitable leg room, move your hand, Owen or I’ll break it.” she spouted, attempting to cross her arms but hitting Owen in the chest, forcing a grunt from him, “Can’t Ianto sit in the back instead of this prick?” she asked when the two lovers got into the front.

 

Jack growled, “No way in hell am I letting him near you.”

 

“Fine.” she rolled her eyes, “He should get over it.”

 

Ianto cried out in frustration, “I’m right bloody here!”

 

“We should just drive perhaps?” Toshiko suggested, “If these creatures work as fast as you say…”

 

She nodded, “They really do.”

 

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.” Owen suggested, “Are you a victim?”

 

She shrugged, “I might be, might not be.” when she saw Owen arch his eyebrow, she sighed, “No, I’m not.  I’m just a bit of an expert.  Captain Slowpoke, why the hell isn’t this vehicle going?”

 

“Have you still got Gwen’s earpiece?” Jack asked.

 

She grinned, “Thanks for reminding me.” she took the device out of her jacket pocket and put it in her ear, “Now you idiots can contact me.”

 

“I was going to ask for it back, actually.” Jack said as he reversed the SUV out of the parking spot.

  
She gave an look of faux interest, “Really?  That’s nice.  Too bad that I’ve already called dibs on it.  Sucks, really.”

 

“‘Dibs’?” Owen looked irritated, “What age are you?”

 

She retorted, “Younger than you, old man.”

 

“I’m twenty seven!” Owen defended, “Hardly that old!”  
  


She made a small noise of acknowledgement, “At least we aren’t on Jack’s side of two hundred.  I mean, dude, you must use some serious Olay because you are looking mint for your age!  Still shouldn’t be dating a twenty four year old though.”

 

“God, do you ever shut up?” Ianto wondered aloud.

 

She considered it for a second, “Nope.”

 

“This is going to be a long journey then.” Ianto remarked, “Wonderful.”

 

“Well, would you rather have Gwen?” she queried, “Neither would I.”

 

Owen groaned, “Please be quiet.  Do you even have a weapon?”

 

“Oh, Owen…” she lifted the bottom of her jacket, revealing two guns in holsters, as well as a row of blades strapped to her belt, “I’m a scout.  I’m always prepared.” after a beat of silence, she called out, “Now, anyone wanna play ‘I Spy’?  I’ll start: I spy with my little eye something beginning with ‘b’.”

 

Everyone else in the car groaned simultaneously in vexation -- Ianto was right.  This would be a long journey.

 

\--

 

When the Torchwood SUV arrived at the site, they parked outside an abandoned cabin, where the redness of the wood had worn over time, the windows smashed.

 

“This was Robert’s cabin.” Jack said as he got out of the cabin, a small, sentimental smile twitching his lips, “I remember him telling me about it.  He built it himself, for his youngest daughter’s first birthday.”

 

M sighed, “All the memories that this place held…” her hand run over the wood, then clenched into a fist, “Destroyed by the Shade.” she looked up, “Do you know Nina wanted to be buried here?”

 

“How’d you know that?” Ianto asked.

 

She looked up at him, “Infinite knowledge.  She was, apparently, a sweet girl too.  Until she offed herself, of course.  Then she was just dead.”

 

“You sound like you knew her.” Ianto came to stand beside the girl, his heart throbbing fast in his chest with fear.

 

M shrugged, “I moved around a bit when I was a wean.  I went from kids home to kids home, and I knew her.  Just for a bit.”

 

“What happened to your parents, if you don’t mind me asking?”

 

She looked angered for a second, “That’s the problem.  I do mind.” then walked over to Jack, “So, boss, what’s the plan?”

 

“We split up, go look for the body and for the witness, plus anything else.  Tosh, you and Owen go off together,” he commanded, missing Tosh’s flinch at being with Owen, “And I’ll go with Ianto.  M, you just… um…”  
  


Ianto suggested, “I’ll go with her, Jack.  She can’t be left alone.”

 

“Says you, headcase!” she hissed.

 

He retorted, “You are calling me a headcase?  Okay.” he swallowed, “But I think it’s a good idea.”

 

“No, no way!” Jack’s voice got shrill, “After yesterday?  No way in hell am I allowing her anywhere near you!”

 

Ianto heaved a sigh, walking to Jack and taking his hands, “I can look after myself, Jack.  I’ll be fine.  If she wanted to kill me, she would’ve already.”  
  


“Still could!” she chirped.

 

He rolled his eyes, looking back at her, “Yeah, whatever.” then he looked back at Jack, blue eyes filled with pleading, “Please, Jack, there are children around.”

 

“Okay, but if she hurts you again--”

 

Ianto interrupted, “She won’t.  Will you, M?”

 

“No.” she mumbled unconvincingly, crossing her arms.

 

Jack’s hand cupped his cheek, “If she does…”

 

“You have my full permission to kill her.” he replied, pressing his lips to Jack’s and hearing Owen’s groan, “Now go.” he whispered.

 

He pulled away, then saw Jack cock his head at Owen to signal him before they both disappeared into the forest.

 

“Well…” M trilled, “This was unexpected, to say the least.  Thought you were scared to death of me?”

 

Ianto clicked his gun and aimed at her, “Shut up.”

 

“Ooh…” she gasped, “I am shocked by this turn of events!  Teaboy’s grown a set!”

 

Ianto scoffed, “You think I won’t shoot?  You’re a killer.  You’re no better than the aliens we hunt!”

 

“You’re right.” she stated, “I’m not.  But if you kill me, what will you be?” when he didn’t answer, she tilted her head, “A killer.” she smirked, “Not so confident now, with your pulsing heart and trembling hand, are you?  You would never.  I know you.”

 

Ianto sighed, putting the gun down, “No, you don’t.”

 

“Then why am I still alive, huh?” she brushed past him, “Come on, lets go look around.”

 

They walked around the cabin to see if there were any clues or evidence, and suddenly, Ianto noticed something etched -- burned -- into the wooden decking around the house.

 

“M.” he stopped her, then walked over to the pattern, “Look at it.”  
  


She followed him and let her eyes roam the carving, “It’s Latin.  Errant in tenebris, et perdam de lumine.  Translates into ‘They roam in the shadows, and they will destroy the light.’”

 

“Great, you’re a walking Google!” he huffed, “What do you even see the world like?”

 

She shook her head, “You don’t want to know.  It’ll terrify you.”

  
“I’m fairly strong.  With the exception of being juiced up by aliens.” he retorted.

 

She crossed her arms, straightening, “I can’t show you.  You held a gun up to me literally a minute ago.”

 

“I need to understand.” Ianto pushed, “I need to know what could drive such a young girl to murder.”

 

For once, M’s face was filled with sorrow, “I’m sorry.” she murmured, then lifted her fingers to put them against Ianto’s temple, “I’ll give you a glimpse.”

 

All of a sudden, Ianto felt his mind sear open as images and sounds filled it, images of pain, suffering, death and the sounds of children screaming and crying for their parents.  He cried out, his head burning with pain, the feeling of seeing it all overwhelming.

 

“Oh, God.” he said, his voice trembling, “No… No, stop it… I can’t bear it… Take… Take it away.”

 

She replied, “I’m so sorry, and released him from her psychic attack, feeling him stumble as he tried to gather his bearings.

 

“What… What the hell was that?” he looked up at her, blue eyes filled with shock.

 

She sighed softly, “That was a snapshot of what I see every single minute of the day.  I just learned to blank out some things.”

 

“No wonder you’ve been driven mad…” he rubbed his face, “Oh, God, I can’t get those voices out of my head, begging, pleading… lamenting.  How do you survive?”

 

She shrugged, “When I start surviving, I’ll tell you.”

 

There was a creak from behind them, and M instantly swivelled around, aiming her pistol, “Come out, come out wherever you are.”

 

Ianto watched as a thin, shadowed figure stepped from the shadows.  She had a mass of red curls framing her face, a white streak across her crown.  Her eyes were hooded, the pupils almost swallowing her emerald irises.  Across her skin were various cuts and bruises and her ripped jogging outfit was drenched in red.

 

“Hello.” she said, her head twitching as she tilted it in curiosity.

 

M stiffened, “Crap.  You’re one of them.”

 

“Indeed.” the girl’s words slurred, “I was once a normal, a homosapien, a human, like you both are now… Heh… I was called… Holly, I ‘fink.”

 

Ianto stepped forward, knitting his brows together in confusion, “Are you-- is she high?”

 

“Why must you jump to such conclusions?” M hissed, annoyed, “Get back.”

 

Ianto shook his head, “No.  She’s just a severely messed up kid.  We can fix her.”  
  


“Oh, no you can’t, mister.” Holly stated, before dissolving into a mix of wild laughter and coughing.

 

She didn’t look very old, perhaps sixteen or seventeen, and M flinched visibly as she aimed her gun for the girl’s head.  Normally, she wouldn’t have an issue with killing people.

 

Holly’s chuckling ceased when she was met with the barrel of the gun, straightening, “You’re a murderer, aren’t you?  I can see it with the fearlessness in your stance… but your eyes, they tell a different story.  Just a victim.  That’s everything you are!” she smirked sadistically, “You know the world will descend into shadow and it frightens you to death, so this persona, this mask, it’s what you’ve adopted.”

 

“I’m sure as hell not too scared to shoot your ass.” M snarled.

 

Ianto shook his head, “N-- No!  There must be a different way… C’mon, M.  Please, don’t kill her.”

 

“Ianto Jones.” Holly looked up at him, her eyes going even blacker, the shade filling her sclera, eyelashes shadowing against her skin, “I see who you are.” she cupped his cheek, and Ianto felt the gun unconsciously slip from his hand, his brain buzzing as he was mesmerised by those eyes, “You’re frightened.  Don’t be.  You will join us soon.  You will become one of the dead.”

 

Suddenly, M kicked her away, and Ianto crashed to the floor, out cold, “His time isn’t yet, bitch!”

 

“Ah, yes.” Holly grumbled, “The one who knows all, the one who sees all, the one who is going to die alone.”

 

M made a face, “Seems like you just described every single one of your miserable species.  You may be part Shade, but you’re only a baby.  I’d ask you to give the big boys a message, but that’d require you to live.  And well, I can’t have that.”

 

“You really are an arrogant cow.” Holly flicked her wrist, and M fell to her knees as pain shot up her legs, crying out in pain.

  
She grunted and forced herself up, “You can inflict as much agony on me as you want, but you can never defeat me.”

 

“And you cannot kill me with your stupid, inferior weapons.” Holly yet again made a gesture, and M was thrown through the back window of the cabin, landing on the floor with a bang.  Holly knelt down beside Ianto and stroked her hand through his hair, whispering in his ear, “Rest easy, my love, as the spell upon you is to be enhanced whence you waken.” she touched his cheek and gasped as the power surged through her as she filled his head with such guilt, such sadness, flicking through his memories and bringing the saddest ones to the surface.  She laughed, then straightened, “Right.  Time to deal with your little girlfriend.”

 

She cracked her neck, then walked forward, kicking open the back door to the cabin so hard that it flew off the hinges.  She turned her head and rolled her eyes when she saw that M wasn’t lying in the broken glass, although some drops of her blood remained on the floor.

 

“Silly girl.” she shook her head, “Silly, predictable girl.” there was a crash of thunder outside as it suddenly began to rain, “I am the shadows.  You cannot hide from me.”

 

M was hiding behind the sofa in the other room, hissing silently as she fished pieces of glass from her side.  Her dark hair fell over her eyes as she heard a noise, and she turned to her side to see that the shadow of one of the cabinets began to move.

 

“Found you.” Holly’s voice chirped, and a figure began to grow out of the darkness, and M realised instantly it was the girl, “I am darkness.”

  
M backed away into the kitchen, looking up with terrified eyes -- she hadn’t felt the rush of fear in years, and it was thrilling.

 

“And you are dead.” Holly smirked as she stepped from the shadow.

 

\--

 

Jack returned to the cabin with the young child who had phoned the police at his side.  Colin was a nine year old who had been camping in the woods when the Shade had attacked his family.  Colin had brought his own mobile and was thankfully able to get reception, and called 999, after his sister Katlyn had been taken.

 

“I still don’t understand.” Colin cried, tears soaking his cheek, “A-Are you a policeman?”

 

Jack knelt down beside him, “Sort of.” he heard thunder begin to rumble and arched an eyebrow, “That’s funny.  Was bright just a second ago.  Have you got a jacket?”

 

“Y-Yes.” Colin nodded, “Back at the tent.”

 

Jack gave him a small smile, “Okay.  I’ll ask my teammates to go find you, okay, buddy?”

 

“O-Okay…” Colin shivered, then turned and broke into a jog.

 

Jack pressed his bluetooth device, “Tosh, Owen?  Can one of you go look after the kid, Colin, he’s went back to his tent.”

 

“I’ll take care of it.” Tosh said, “Why, what’s wrong?”

 

Jack frowned, “I’m not sure.  I’ve just got a bad feeling.  I’ll contact you both later with details.” he pressed a different button, “Ianto, are you there?”

 

No reply.

 

“Oh, for God’s sake,” he pressed the button usually used to call Gwen, “M?” he rolled his eyes and took out his mobile, calling Ianto’s number as he approached the cabin.

 

He arched an eyebrow in confusion as he heard Ianto’s ringtone, wondering if he had dropped his phone.  No -- Ianto wouldn’tve done that -- he was too careful.

 

Jack followed the sound of the ringtone and gasped in horror when he saw Ianto lying unconscious on the decking of the cabin, and rushed over, seeing raindrops running down the man’s face and body, his clothes soaked, his body visibly trembling.  Jack looked up and saw that the back door was blown off the house, and the window was shattered.  He looked through the shards and saw a bloodied figure looming over a weakened, pained one.  He saw that the one in pain was M, who was crawling along the ground, quite obviously in pain.

 

He had a choice.  Help M or stop Ianto from freezing to death.  To him, there was no contest.

 

He knelt down and heaved Ianto over his shoulder in a fireman's lift, rushing him to the SUV at the front and turning on the heater, running his hands up and down his arms, trying to warm him up.  Jack removed his own military coat and wrapped it around the shivering figure, trying to do whatever he could to stop him from catching hypothermia.

 

“Wake up.” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to Ianto’s lips, feeling him begin to stir, “That’s it…” when the Welshman opened his eyes, he smiled, “There we go.  Hello.”

 

Ianto looked up, confused, “What…?” then his eyes widened in his fear as his breathing became erratic, “No…”

 

“Ianto?” Jack tried to touch his shoulder, but was violently shrugged off, “Ianto, I don’t understand--”

 

Ianto suddenly shrieked, “Go away, Lisa!  You’re dead!”

 

“Oh, crap.” Jack murmured.

 

\--

 

M wiped away a bit of blood on her mouth after receiving a particularly hard punch from Holly, busting her lip.  She groaned, hand fiddling to open the drawer, cutting her hand on a knife and hissing.

 

“So scared.” Holly knelt down, “You act like you don’t feel a damn thing, but everyone knows the truth.  You even know it deep down.  You’re lost.  The girl who you once were is lost.  You weren’t always a rogue.”

 

M grunted, opening another drawer and finally finding what she wanted -- a box of matches.  She used most of her strength to push herself up and sprint into the living room, hopping over the couch.

 

She frantically tapped her -- Gwen’s -- bluetooth device, “Backup would be really great, guys.  Enemy is right here.”

 

“Go ahead.” Holly snarled, following her, “Call your friends.  I’ll kill them too.  Well, actually, they aren’t your friends, are they?  You’re using them.”

 

M looked around the room frantically, then saw something that caught her eye, “You Shade live off the cold and the dark?” using her abilities, she pulled a bottle of whisky into her hand from the alcohol cupboard, and popped the lid off, “Well…” she chucked the fluid over Holly, then pulled out a match, striking it against the side of the box and smirking at the flickering flame before meeting eyes with the creature in front of her, “Burn, baby burn.”

 

M threw the match onto the soaked Holly, seeing her instantly ignite, screaming and roaring in agony.  She gave a look of sadistic pleasure at watching someone perish, then walked past her, heat hitting her back as she picked up her gun which had been discarded on the floor, holding her stomach.  She left the cabin and saw the rain begin to stop, and narrowed her eyes when she saw Jack in the SUV with Ianto.

  
This meant that he had the opportunity to help her, but he had left her for dead.  It was precisely at that moment she determined that she did not like him very much.

 

Distracting her from her urge to kill was Ianto, who was rocking back and forward, eyes wide.  M remembered Holly’s words and cursed aloud, realising what was happening.

 

Ianto was now feeling the Shade’s hex, only much, much more violently.  He thrashed as he muttered under his breath, and she weakly stumbled against the car, startling Jack.

 

“Jesus!” he looked up at her, “Hey, you okay?”  
  


She groaned, “No thanks to you.”

 

“What the hell is up with him?” Jack opened the car door and let her into the front, “He’s not making sense… he keeps mentioning Lisa… his ex.”

 

M nodded in acknowledgement, “The cyberwoman.  Right.  The Shade seem to have increased his trauma, they can do that.  They can mind control, see from the shadows, control the weather, even teleport.  This dimension and the people in it are like clay to it.”  
  


“So what do we do?” Jack asked.

 

She shrugged, “The drug will still work on him, but there’s a chance…”

 

“What?” Jack raised his voice.

 

She sighed, “There’s a chance he could be overdosed with it and it could make him worse.  It could make him violent.  They certainly would need to heighten the dosage.”

 

“But if he doesn’t take it.” the words were like venom in Jack’s mouth, “He’ll kill himself.”

 

She nodded, “You might have to risk it.”

 

“He’d hate me.” Jack stroked Ianto’s cold hand.

  
She crossed her arms, “Would you rather him dead?  Make a choice, Jack-o.”

 

“Call your boyfriend.” Jack huffed, “Tell him what happened, and to up the dosage.  If Ianto doesn’t want it, when he’s more sensical, I’ll have to force him.” he looked up to his boyfriend and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

 

 


	8. Chapter Seven

Ianto was flickering between hallucinations and reality by the time they returned to the Hub, as well as frantically scratching at his wrist to the point he drew blood, and M had to hold down his hands using her (slightly hindered) abilities.

 

“You look fucking terrible.” Owen said, helping her out of the SUV.

 

She huffed a laugh, “Feel it too.”

 

“Jack?” Ianto looked up at his boyfriend confusedly when he helped him out of the vehicle.

 

The American steadied him, “I’m here.”

 

“The amazing Torchwood.” a voice said.

  
M looked up and smiled slightly, “Jonas.” she hobbled forward and hugged him, “It’s good to see you.”

 

“Easy…” he held her, “What happened?”

 

She shrugged, “Ran into a baby Shade in the woods.  No biggy.”

 

“No biggy?” he cupped her cheek, “You’re bleeding!”

 

She groaned, “I was chucked through a window.  You should see the other guy.  Well, lass.  She’s currently a horribly burnt corpse.”

 

“Only you could joke about such a subject, you sick fuck.” Ianto suddenly blurted out, surprising everyone with both his tone and his vulgarity.

 

Ianto was normally as polite as possible, but the dam had broken loose, and he was unable to fully grasp what he was saying as he swayed from side-to side.

 

Jonas sighed, “So I’m guessing the Shade got to him?”

 

“I couldn’t stop it.” M defended, “I was through a window.”

 

Jonas ran his hand up and down her arm, “You need a doctor.”

 

“I’ll be fine.” she stated flatly, “It’s him I think you should be concerned about.”

 

Ianto shook his head, “N-No… I’m fine… I’m okay-- what the fuck?!” his eyes flew widely across the landscape, “No, just leave… Guh… this isn’t happening!  No, let go of me!”

 

“Ianto…” Jack soothed, “Calm down.  You’re safe.”

  
Ianto snapped back at him, “No, I’m not!” then pulled away and broke into a sprint into the Hub, running as quickly as he possibly could to the cells.

 

Ianto stumbled against Janet’s enclosure, angering her to the point she started forward, snarling.  The Welshman backed away, his vision flickering, darkening.  In an attempt to normalize everything, he slapped himself, wincing as the flesh began to throb in pain.

 

“Ianto.” Lisa’s voice chided, and her hand brushed his reddening cheek, “Oh, my Ianto.”  
  


He shook his head, beginning to tremble, “You’re not real...”  
  


“Of course I am.” she looked mildly hurt, then leant forward, pressing her lips to his in a ghost of a kiss, one that was barely there, then she pulled away, “Fate separated us.” she took his hands in his, “I remember one time, it was early in the morning, you said you’d want to be with me forever.  You can still do that if you want.”

 

He exchanged a small glance with her, like they would do at Torchwood one, “How?”

 

“You know how.” her thumbs rubbed circles under his cuffs, brushing his bruises and scars, “Join me, Ianto.  Be with me.  He can’t give you forever, I can.”  
  


He blinked a few times, “But Jack…”

 

“Jack killed me.  He murdered me and he didn’t even apologise for it.” she returned to stroking his cheek, “He doesn’t love you.  He never will.  You’re just another in a very long line.”

 

He inhaled shakily, “I am a lot more than that.  Now get the fuck out of my head!” he broke into a run again, finding himself in Owen’s medical pit.

  
He dismissed the worried calls of Jack as he rushed into the Hub and fumbled for something -- anything -- to control the voices and visions.  His Dad was now standing behind him.

 

“Come on, poofter.” he scoffed, “You’re too pathetic to do it, aren’t you?  You’d rather live your pathetic waste of a life, the life of a self centred little faggot.  You deserve to die.”

 

Ianto groaned, “Shut… Shut up, Dad.”

 

“Ianto Jones.” the voice changed suddenly, turning from a Welsh accent to an American one, “Savior of Earth.” Ianto swivelled around to see Jack standing there, eyes filled with contempt and sick amusement, “Please.  You can barely save a cup of coffee.  There, I said it.” he stepped towards Ianto, who backed away, “Awwh, what’s wrong, baby?  Truth hurts, don’t it?”

 

Ianto shook his head, “You aren’t… You aren’t Jack…”

 

“No, I’m your subconscious, idiot.” the apparition rolled his eyes, “But, I thought I’d come at you in a form you -- we’d -- like.”  he gave a signature Harkness grin, “You really are pathetic.  Thinking he loves you.  He doesn’t.  Of course he doesn’t.  Who would?  You’re nothing.  A tiny, insignificant cloud in a starry night sky.” the figure morphed into his own visage, “And I hate you.  You don’t deserve to live.”

 

Ianto ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends as he fought for control, “N-No… stop this… I don’t want… I don’t…”

 

“You can’t make any excuses, Ianto Jones.” the figure reached up and touched his face, “I am you.” it morphed back into Lisa, “And I am your lovely girlfriend.” it changed back into Ianto’s current lover, “And I am Handsome Jack.” the accented voice was harsh as it commanded, “Do it.  Take one of the scalpels and jab it into your neck and let yourself just bleed to death.  You have blood on your hands, Ianto Jones.  Dr. Tanizaki, Annie, Lisa.  It’s all your fault.” he tilted his head, smirking, “And you deserve to die.”

 

Ianto felt tears burning in his eyes as he turned to Owen’s little table of tools.  He picked up one of the scalpels, seeing his own empty reflection in it.

 

“That’s it.” the apparition murmured, still in Jack’s guise, “You deserve this.  You want this.”

 

All of a sudden, the real Jack burst in, shocking the ghost of an image from Ianto’s mind as he looked up.

  
“Thank God.” Jack sighed in relief, “What the hell were you doing?”

 

Ianto replied emptily, “I have to do something.”

  
Jack saw what he held in his hands, “Ianto, what are you doing?”  
  


“What’s right.” Ianto swallowed, “I have to die.  I have to.  I’m a monster and I deserve it.”  
  


Jack almost broke from hearing those words.  His Ianto -- his beautiful, precious Ianto -- was clutching to a blade like a lifeline, and he just wanted to hold him.  But first, his priority was to stop him from getting hurt.

 

“Put it down.” Jack touched his hand softly, “Please, Ianto.  You don’t need to do this.”

 

Ianto replied brokenly, “I’ve got blood on my hands, Jack.  Dr. Tanizaki, L-Lisa, Annie, all of M’s victims… God, they’re dead because of me!”

 

“Ianto, just put down the scalpel, and we can discuss this.” he tried to take it away from him, but Ianto’s grip was like steel.

 

Ianto shook his head, “I have to die.” he looked up and in Jack’s place, he saw John Hart standing, and rage spiralled through him.

 

“What’s the matter, eye candy?” he grinned, “Not used to seeing an old friend?”

 

Without thinking, Ianto took the scalpel and jabbed it hard into Jack’s gullet, seeing the surprise and pain in his eyes as his hand rushed to the wound.  The vision of John was gone now, and it was just Jack plummeting slowly to the ground as Ianto stood rigid with shock, his hands drenched in his boyfriend’s blood.

 

“Oh, my God.” Owen’s voice hit Ianto’s ears as Jack’s eyes flickered closed, “What the hell happened?”

 

Ianto replied thickly, “I didn’t mean to…  I just…. Oh, God.”

 

“Ianto…” Tosh’s thumbs stroked comfortingly over his arms as she attempted to maneuver him out of the room, away from Jack’s body, “Come on, he’ll be okay.” she didn’t notice that the scalpel wasn’t in Jack’s throat anymore from the sheer amount of blood.

 

When she managed to sit Ianto down onto the couch, she saw him blankly stare ahead, then decided to go and help Owen clean up Jack and prepare him for waking up.

 

Ianto pulled the bloodied scalpel out of his pocket, the sticky blood revolting yet encouraging to the darker part of him.  He rolled up his sleeves and rested the metal against his skin, gritting his teeth to prepare for the sting of pain.  He drew silver against flesh lightly, a thin red line following seconds after, memorizing his trail.  The endorphins pumping in his blood sickened him, yet also gave him a sick thrill, one that forced him to repeat his actions.

 

Suddenly, the scalpel flew out of his hands and stuck into the wall.  Ianto looked up to see Jonas with his hand raised, eyes darkening.  Beside him was M, who looked slightly less pained, but it was obvious she was still suffering in some way.

 

“What the hell did you do that for?” Ianto heard himself venomously hiss, “I need to die!”

 

Jonas rolled his eyes, “Most people just say thanks.” he shook his head, “Sheesh…” he walked into the medical bay and picked up some bandages, looking at the body on the floor, “That’s gross.” he returned to see his girlfriend and Ianto glaring at each other, “You know, when you two start making out, give me warning.”

 

“He’s on the fence sadly.” frowned M.

 

Jonas knelt in front of Ianto, who started to rock himself, retorting, “You know that’s a lie.  The lad’s not into men, just Captain America in there.  Hey, hold still.” he growled, holding Ianto’s wrist tightly as he bandaged it, “That’s better.”

 

“You haven’t changed.” M noted fondly.

 

Jonas remarked, “You have.  You’re colder.  I’m not sure if I like it or not.”  
  


“It’s good I don’t seek your approval, then.” M smiled slightly.

 

Ianto shivered, stating in a whisper, “I killed him.”

 

“You know he’ll wake up in a few minutes.” M pulled part of her hair into a ponytail, leaving some down, “So, technically, no you didn’t.”

 

The Welshman shook his head, “It’s still murder.  Oh, God.”

 

“You’ve killed like one person.” M rolled her eyes, “It’s kinda pathetic.  I mean, look at me.”  
  


Jonas looked up, disturbed, “You’re proud of that?”

 

“Not proud.” she replied blankly, “But it happened.  Can’t change it.”

 

He gave a look of sadness at that, “You really have changed.”  
  


“Not when it comes to you.” she knelt down beside him, cupping his cheek with her palm, “I still feel the same.”

 

He turned his head, “How long until that goes away too?  You were so compassionate once… that was the you I fell for.”

 

“She’s still in here.” M admitted, “Just buried.” when he didn’t respond, she pressed her lips to his head briefly, then pulled away, asking, “Well, what about us?  Hm, Jo?  Are we still…--”

 

Jonas finished, “Together?  We haven’t even seen each other since we were eighteen!”

  
“It doesn’t matter, I think.” she smiled faintly, “God, I missed you.”

 

He turned his head, his own lips twitching, “Missed you too, kitten.”

 

She leant forward and pressed her lips to his softly, kissing for a few precious seconds until the sound of a shrieking gasp sounded from the other room.

 

“Jack.” Ianto bowed his head, “He can’t see me…  He’s going to hate me.”

 

M reassured in her own way, “You killed him.  He’ll be fine.  It’s not as if he hasn’t done it before.”  
  


A few minutes of nervous, guilty babbling from Ianto, and Jack came rushing through, making his way to his boyfriend, struck with worry.  He knelt before him, touching his cheek.

 

“What happened?” he asked, noting the bandages on Ianto’s wrist.

 

M explained, “Shade successfully breached his mind and caused harm.  Fair to say I think we pissed them off.”

 

“You pissed them off, you mean.” Jack growled, “You did this, you got us involved.  If you hadn’tve called us, he would’ve been fine!”

 

M narrowed her eyes, “If I hadn’tve called, the death of one of your ex colleagues would’ve remained a mystery!”

 

“If Ianto would’ve been okay, then that’s something I could’ve lived with!” Jack shouted.

 

M scoffed, “You selfish, stupid bastard.” she shook her head, laughing humorlessly, “You’d choose your part time fuck over something threatening to the world?  That’s not love.  That’s obsession.  Besides, he’ll die one day anyway, have you ever thought about that?”

 

“M…” Jonas touched her arm, “Calm down, darling, please.”

 

She stood up, huffing in frustration, “I’m going back to my hotel.  Don’t ring or follow me.  Any of you, including you, ‘darling’.  I’ll contact you when I want.”

 

“Bye then.” Jonas sighed, seeing her storm out, “Bloody hell.”

 

Jack arched an eyebrow, “You date that?”

 

“She’s a sweet girl.” Jonas stated, “When she wants to be, anyway.”

 

Ianto shivered, “Jack?”

 

“Yeah, baby?” he wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

 

The Welshman whispered, “I’m so sorry.  I would never intentionally put you through that.”

 

“I’m more concerned about you.” Jack admitted, “I don’t want you hurt.  Do you wanna go home?”

 

Ianto nodded against Jack’s shoulder, “Yes, please.”

 

“Okay.” Jack took his hand, “Home it is.”

 

He helped him up, seeing Jonas’ smile of dismissal, guiding Ianto out, not even bothering to go say goodbye to Tosh and Owen.

 

Jonas clambered to his feet, walking down the steps into the medical bay, seeing Toshiko and Owen grin at each other as they cleaned up some of the kit.  It was obvious, without using his universal knowledge, that there was some kind of mutual attraction between them, one that neither wished to address or seemed to notice.

 

He coughed, alerting them, seeing the connection snap as they looked up, both awkwardly shuffling for a second, “Yeah, your boss has returned home with Ianto.”

 

“Okay.” Tosh smiled, “Thanks for telling us.”  
  


He looked around, “Need a hand?  Being telekinetic is kind of a perk when you have to clean up.”

 

“Won’t it give you a nosebleed, like it does with M?” asked Owen.

 

He shook his head, “God, no.” he laughed, “M only gets those because she’s inexperienced.  I first got shot with the drugs when I was thirteen, she had hers at sixteen.  And, well, we’re both twenty one now.  I’ve learned to control it, to not drive it all through anger.”

 

“Can we do a quick brain scan?” Owen queried.

 

Tosh looked appalled, “Owen!  Manners!”

 

“It’s okay.” Jonas smiled faintly, “I’m used to being a lab rat.”

 

\--

 

M sat on her hotel room bed, her eyes closed, legs crossed.  Her hair was up in a high ponytail as she attempted to focus her energies around her.  Flickering through her own mind, she tried to find the point of perfect peace, the one Jonas could handle whilst using his abilities.

 

Around her, objects began to levitate around the room as everything sparked into life.  She released a quick gasp as her own body also began to lift, hovering inches above the bed.  Her eyes opened, the dark browns shining a Time Lord gold.  She could feel the energy of the Rift and the Vortex sifting through her mind, granting her access, instead of it burning like usual.

 

She was free.  She could sense.  And through the entire of space, she could feel one mind ebbing, calling out to her.  She was alive.

 

Knock, knock.

 

That sound and the obnoxious, irritating voice calling, “Time for your payment!” sent her crashing back down to the bed, the other objects falling also.

 

With a pace too sudden, her rage returned, increased tenfold.  She felt blood drip down from her nose and wiped it away, hopping off the bed and dragging her limbs to the door, opening it to see Peter, the owner of the hotel.

 

“Hello, there.” he greeted her with a grin, “Time to pay your rent, pretty girl.”

 

Peter was tall and pale with a scruffy beard and sharp blue eyes that she could graphically imagine plucking out.

 

She pulled him inside, closing the door, “I was actually busy.”

 

“I choose the times, little one.” she shut the door, squirming as his hands roamed her front, reaching for a breast.

 

She grunted, “Gerroff.”

 

“Excuse me?” he arched an eyebrow, “Need I remind you that I am letting you stay here for free?”

 

She rolled her eyes, “You needen’t, and yet you do.”  
  


“Come on, miss… what was yer name again?” he asked, “You still want to stay here?  You do as I say.”

 

She heaved a sigh, “I know.  And the name is M.  Just M.  Not ‘miss’ anything.  Titles are just pointless.”

 

“So, you’ll be M, I’ll be X?” he tried to pull up her top but she pushed his hands away, “Don’t be a tease.”

 

She suddenly smirked, “Sit down.” he obeyed, looking at her with lustful eyes.

 

She pushed his knees apart, kneeling between them like she was about to go down on him, then suddenly pulled out a knife, seeing his instant panic.  Before he could scream, she pushed him back, cutting out his tongue swiftly, laughing when he began to cough up blood.  She then stabbed the knife into his crotch, making sure she hit his member, feeling it come away from his body in a litany of blood and choked cries.

 

“What?” she asked, tilting his head, “Isn’t this great payment, Pete?” she grabbed his throat lightly, “You don’t touch me.  Otherwise you experience the less pleasant side of BDSM.  I said no.  You didn’t listen.  Time to pay for that.”

 

Objects began to fly around the room as she grabbed a pillow and tightly pushed it over his face, feeling his body protest and try to swivel away as she smothered him, laughing chaotically the whole way through.  When his body seized up and stopped moving, she pouted like a child who had their toy broken.

 

She grabbed her phone, texting Jonas.

 

M:

 

_I killed somebody._

 

Then she slid down beside the body, twitching and shaking.

 

 


	9. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry it's been a while, I've been dealing with stuff and working on other projects, but here's the next update. :)

“Well…” Owen mused as his eyes roamed the screen in front of him, “This is rather bizarre.  You and M have different brain sizes.  Whilst yours is fairly normal, hers is pressing up against her cranium.”

 

Jonas replied, “It’s because she’s completely driven by anger.  I’m mostly a pacifist.  Plus, I don’t use my abilities every bloody five minutes.”

 

“How long have you two been together?” asked Toshiko.

 

He gave a sad smile, “A few weeks before she got her shots.  On our first date, we danced to Aerosmith.  God, she was so different back then.  She didn’t hurt anyone.”  
  


“What changed?” Owen wondered.

 

Jonas shrugged, “She just grew so bitter, and the bitterness consumed her.” his phone beeped, and he pulled it out of his pocket, shooting to his feet when he read the message, “Shite.”

 

“What is it?” Toshiko asked, worried.

 

He shook his head, “N-Nothing… I gotta go.”

 

He darted out of the Hub before anybody could say anything more, leaving Tosh and Owen alone in the dimly-lit medical bay.

 

“Well, that was strange.” Owen stated.

 

\--

 

Meanwhile, Ianto laid in Jack’s arms, face buried in his chest as he slumbered fitfully, fighting against his boyfriend’s grip.  Jack refused to let himself sleep, not when Ianto was in potential danger.  He just held him as he twisted and turned, tears of remorse burning in his powder blue eyes.

 

“N-No…” choked out Ianto, thrashing violently, breaths coming out in rapid pants.

 

Jack ran his hand down Ianto’s back, taking his hand, “Shh… I’m here, Ianto… It’s okay.”

 

“P-Please… Stop… Y-You’re killing her…” Ianto whimpered, “Oh, God.  Lisa.”

 

Jack felt a pang of guilt at that.  He knew instantly that Ianto was dreaming of the terrible night that he had lost the love of his life twice.  To death and to the creature she had become.  And Jack had executed her, along with Ianto’s friends at the Hub.

 

That was one of the many things he regretted.  Putting Ianto through that, somebody whom he could never dream of hurting anymore, someone who he cared for so much, someone he lo--

 

Ianto released a sob of anguish, eyes flying open, breath hot against Jack’s neck, tears scorching paths down his cheek.  Jack held him closer, mumbling words of comfort under his breath.

 

“I’m going to fix this…” he promised, kissing Ianto’s forehead, “I’m going to kill them for ever hurting you.”

 

Ianto shook his head, “It feels like I’m dying Jack.  I can see everything in my head.  I’m such a horrible person.”

 

“No, you’re not.” Jack tilted his face up, “You’re not a bad person, this is just the Shade, making you believe that.”

 

Ianto shivered, “I’m cold… I’m so cold…”

 

Jack held Ianto closer to his body so he could share some of his warmth.  It was strange, if Ianto wasn’t so upset, Jack would’ve made a joke about ‘warming him up’, that would probably end with a knee to the bollocks or a kiss.

 

“You know I’ll protect you, right?” Jack asked, “And I’m willing to take any chance, risk anything.”

 

Ianto’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What risks are there?  I’m getting the injections tomorrow, aren’t I?” when Jack went silent, he sat up, “Jack?  Answer me.”  
  


“Well…” Jack sat with him, “Jonas said that with your increasingly deteriorating mental state, the effects of the serum could turn you… could, um, it could make you more like M.” he paused, then elaborated, “In the means of sanity.”  
  


Ianto’s face went hard, “No way.”

 

“Ianto--”

 

He interrupted, “I said no!  You can’t just sell away my sanity like that!”

 

“It’s to save your life!” Jack argued, raising his voice to the point where he was shouting in Ianto’s face.

 

Ianto retorted, “I don’t care.  I would much rather lose my life then endanger others.  M is unstable.  Don’t let me become like that.  Don’t make me.”  
  


“I can’t lose you.” Jack stroked his hand gently up his arm, “I just… I can’t.”  
  


Ianto huffed, “If this does kill me, then I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  Personally, I’d want to spend the rest of my fleeting life with you as I pass you by.”

 

“Stop talking like you’re meaningless!” Jack pleaded, tears pricking his eyes.

 

Ianto shrugged, “I am.  After my death, which is unavoidable, you’ll move on, you’ll forget me.”

 

“No, I wouldn’t do that.” Jack rose his voice, “And you are not going to die, dammit!  Not today, not tomorrow, not until you’re old and grey.”

 

Ianto gave a self-deprecating laugh, “Like that will ever happen in Torchwood.  Wake up, Jack!  Check in to bloody reality!  We don’t die old and wise, we die young and fearful.”

 

“Oh, I give in with you!” Jack hissed, “I’m going to sleep on the damn sofa!”

 

Ianto frowned, “No, you don’t have to--”

 

“You’re giving up, and that is not the Ianto Jones I--”

 

Ianto narrowed his eyes, “You what, Jack?  Go on.” after a moment of silence, he scoffed, “You can’t even bloody say it, can you?”

 

“Because it hurts!  Knowing what I’ve lost, what I’m going to lose--”

 

Ianto shook his head, “Piss off.  You don’t give a toss about me.  At least you shouldn’t.  Just leave me alone, that’s all I bloody want.”

 

“Fine.” Jack shot to his feet, “You want left alone, you want to die alone?  Okay.” he crossed his arms, “I’ll be on the couch.” he stormed out, tears leaking from his eyes.

 

Ianto wiped away a tear of his own -- he hated these fights he and Jack were getting into.  It was bizarre, before all this started, before M, he and Jack would’ve agreed on almost anything (except for the two regrettable times he betrayed him).

 

Something shifted in the corner of the room, and Ianto straightened, looking over.  His hand fumbled for the light switch, and when the light flicked on, he saw his father’s form lingering there, a sadistic smile on his face and a knife held in his hand.

 

“Hello, son.” Mr. Jones smirked, teeth showing, “Aw, what’s wrong, my boy?  You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”  
  


Ianto paled, “N-No…  You’re the Shade, getting into my head.”

 

“Am I?” he leered closer, eyes burning with rage, then scoffed, “You always did act much smarter than you already are!”

 

Ianto cried quietly, “Jack…”

 

“Oh, of course…” the apparition suddenly grabbed his throat, “Call on your little boyfriend, you stupid faggot!”

 

Ianto whimpered, “No… Go away!”

 

“Ianto Jones, I am your father!  Show some respect.” he tightened his grip, and Ianto fought for air, his vision getting cloudy, “You’ve gotta stop being such a fucking problem.” the vision changed to a terrifying visage, a shadowed beast with black, empty eyes, “I am Shade.” it relinquished its hold slightly, “Any last words?”

 

Ianto screamed, “Jack!  Help me!”

 

“Of course it’d be for him.” the creature took on the image of Lisa, “It was never me, was it… my Ianto?  I loved you, and you…” hurt filled her eyes, “He killed me, Ianto.  You say you loved me, but that isn’t love.  It never will be.”

 

Ianto’s voice broke, “Lisa died way before I brought her anywhere near Torchwood Three.  I let her become a monster.”  
  


“You are the reason I am dead.” her voice hissed.

 

He gave a short nod, tears filling his eyes, “I know.”  
  


Jack suddenly burst through the door, worried, and he froze when he saw Ianto sitting on the bed, a shadowy hand curved around his throat.  Ianto was talking to it as if he knew it, as if he loved it.

 

“I’m sorry Lisa.” Ianto cried, “But you’re dead.  And this alien is just wearing your face.”

 

The Shade’s hand tightened again around Ianto’s throat, a smirk curving Lisa’s face as Ianto retched for air.  Jack pulled out his Webley revolver and aimed at the creature.

 

“Leave him alone.” Jack growled, snapping Ianto out of his state.

 

Ianto saw the creature for what it was once more, “I… I can’t breathe…”

 

“Nobody cares.” the creature stated, then threw Ianto hard to the side, his body smashing against the wall.

 

Jack flinched, then aimed at the Shade, “Going after my boyfriend?  Bad move, dickhead.”

 

“Captain Jack Harkness.” grinned the monster, “There is so much interesting stuff we’ve all learned about you.”

 

Jack smirked, “That I’m a devilishly handsome fellow?  The whole universe knows that!”  
  


“You hide behind your quirky attitude and your little flirtations but it changes nothing.  You failed him.” the creature mocked, “You failed Gray.  And you’ll fail Owen, and Tosh, and Gwen.”

 

Jack’s face went hard when the Shade mentioned Gray, “You don’t mention Gray.  Okay?”

 

“Bringing up the past is so painful, isn’t it?” it laughed, “Well, I’m done haunting your little boyfriend.  You’re of no interest to me.” it melted back into the shadows.

 

Jack shuddered, blinking back tears as he blocked away the memories of his little brother, the way he had for years.  He looked over, seeing Ianto clumped in a pile against a wall, eyes shut.  Jack rushed over, listening for breath, relieved when he heard the shallow exhales.

 

He heaved Ianto up onto the bed with a grunt.  The man wasn’t too heavy, but wasn’t exactly light either.  He gently rested his boyfriend’s head against the pillow, frowning when he saw a small cut on his forehead.

 

“Wake up, Ianto.” he mumbled, resting his head on his chest, “I need you.”

 

There was a small groan from above him, and he looked up, seeing confused blue eyes flicker open.

 

“Jack…?” Ianto arched an eyebrow.

 

Jack rose his head, “Thank God you’re okay!” he cupped Ianto’s cheek.

 

“Urrrgh…” he grumbled, “My head.”

 

Jack leant over and kissed him briefly, “I am so sorry.”

 

“He took my father’s shape.” Ianto cracked, hand running through his own hair, “He became m-my father.”

 

Jack took Ianto’s hand, “Ianto… why are you so scared of him?”

 

“I-I--” he shook his head, “I can’t.”

 

Jack slid up to lie beside him, hugging him close, “You can tell me anything.  I would never judge you.”

 

“I-it wasn’t in my file…” Ianto swallowed, “But my Dad, he always expected too much of me.  And when I failed… he would… h-he… oh, God, I can’t…” he whimpered.

 

Jack sighed, “Oh, Ianto…” and kissed his forehead, “I need to get you cured.”

 

“N-No.” Ianto shook his head, “I get to see him.  An-And Lisa.”

 

Jack protested, “This isn’t you.”

 

“It is now.”

 

\--

 

M was sitting on her bloody hotel bed, corpse to the side when Jonas burst in, gagging when he saw the body.

  
“What the hell?!” he yelled, grabbing her arm and pulling her up.

 

She pulled away, stating in a flat voice, “He was going to hurt me.  I said no.”  
  


“Hurt?” he cried, “What do you mean, hurt?”

 

She swallowed, “In return for staying here, I had to…”

 

“You had to what?” his voice went cold.

 

She crossed her arms, “What do you think?”

 

“Oh, my God.” he stumbled, “So you killed him.”

 

She corrected, “I let him for a while, then when I said no, he decided to be a pig, so then, I killed him.”

 

“What has happened to you?” he asked, “If you wanted somewhere to stay--”

 

She finished, “I couldn’t find you, and I wasn’t sure you’d like the new me.”

 

“I don’t.” he huffed.

 

She looked hurt for a second, then blinked, “Lets go back to the dump.”  
  


“That’s my home.” she heard the offence clear in his voice like a bell.

 

Stammering, she tried to excuse herself, “W-Well… I, um… take a bloody joke man.”

 

“M…” Jonas sighed, “People there would willingly take a bullet for you.”

 

She brushed the comment off, “That’s their choice.”  
  


“What about Elle?” he asked, “I remember a time when you were like sisters.”  
  


She swallowed, “I have no sisters.  Elle was a friend, and I changed.”  
  


“I know you did.” he frowned, “And I hate it.”

 

Suddenly, a maid came toddling by the door, minding her own business, and saw the body out of the corner of her eye, a scream ripping from her throat.

 

“Shit.” M cursed, “Well done, Jo, now I’ve gotta deal with her.”

 

The woman made a move to run, but found herself fixed to the spot.  Her whole body was torn forward into the hotel room, the door shutting behind her.  She looked up at M, who’s eyes were wild, and at the clearly frightened boy beside her, who looked like he was going to be sick or start crying.

 

“Stop screaming,” M demanded, her tone threatening as she pulled out a pistol.  When the woman didn’t obey, she pressed it to her forehead, “I said stop, otherwise the floor will be covered in brain slurry.”

 

Jonas grabbed her wrist, “Stop.  Please.”  
  


“Jo, I adore you, but if you don’t let go, I’ll shoot your cock off.” she snapped, looking at where his hand touched her arm.

 

He let go, sighing, “Don’t kill her, I’m begging you.  Show me the girl I fell for is still in there, and not replaced by this… this monster.”

 

M looked actually hurt at his words and exhaled, putting down the gun, the shrieks of the woman in front of her growing in hoarseness.  In a moment of irritation, she punched the maid, rendering her unconscious.

 

“Good.” Jonas’ voice was choked, and he looked absolutely petrified.

 

M put her weapon away and cupped his cheek, mumbling softly, “I’m gonna bloody kill you for this, you know?”

 

“I know.” he returned the gesture, his thumb stroking her skin.

 

He flinched when she pressed her lips to his, the gesture warm and familiar, but still holding a distinct wrongness to it.

 

She pulled away, confused, “What is it?”

 

“The-- the blood…” he gasped, “D-Don’t kiss me with the blood on you.”

 

M frowned, turning back to the body, “Should we dispose of him?”

 

“I’m not helping you bury a body.” he shook his head, paling, “I adore you too, but-- just no.  I can’t.”

 

She remarked, “And they chivalry is dead.  Lovely.  Fine, I’ll leave him here, see if the maid here will think not to report us.”

 

Jonas got to his knees, hand wiring into the hair of the maid’s as he filtered through her mind, trying to pinpoint the past five minutes.

 

“What are you doing?” asked M, knowing the answer.”  
  


He replied, “Going against every moral I have.” he winced slightly, pain stinging him, “There.  Done.” he let go, “She won’t remember us.” he stumbled slightly.

 

“Woah, easy there, darling.” she caught him, “You don’t wanna hit your head, do you?”

 

The sudden buzz of his phone alerted Jonas, and he groaned, retrieving it, “God, I’m popular today.” he stopped suddenly when he read the text, “Jack said he’s got Ianto ready, we need to pick them up and take him to Louis.”

 

\--

 

“Jack, I’m not arguing about this any longer.” Ianto grumbled as he made himself some coffee, “If there’s even a 10% chance I might lose my mind like M, I’m not risking it.  That girl frightens the living shit out of me, and I don’t want to end up like her.”

 

Jack sighed, “Ianto, you could end up taking your own life.”

 

“Then you’re going to have to learn to let me go.” the Welshman told him.

 

Jack rolled his eyes, “You’re so self-righteous.” he came up behind his boyfriend, kissing him softly on the neck.

 

“Mmmf, stop, I’m mad at you.” Ianto hissed as he arched his neck.

 

Jack pulled away, whispering, “No you aren’t.” he paused, “But you will be.” he pulled a syringe of sedative out of his pocket and jabbed Ianto in the neck with it, feeling the younger stiffen, cursing, fighting his grip.

 

Heartbreakingly, he pushed the syringe into Ianto’s bloodstream, feeling his cursing and fighting grow weaker as he fell unconscious in his arms.  Jack caught him before he could fall and hurt himself, lifting him up and resting him on the sofa.

 

“I’m so sorry.” he pressed his lips to Ianto’s forehead, “I know you’re going to hate me for this but… I don’t want to lose you just yet, okay?”

 

Jack pulled out his phone and texted the number M had given him for Jonas, telling him that he was ready.

 

\--

 

“Jesus… what sedative did you give him?”

 

“It was something from Owen’s lab.”

 

“Well, with this kit, he might start drifting in and out of consciousness and--”  
  


Ianto didn’t hear much of what Jonas said afterwards as his hearing briefly cut out.

 

“That should be enough…” murmured Louis, a few hours later, “But he might kill you when he wakes up, just a heads up.”  
  


Jack sighed, rubbing his face, “I am aware of our failing relationship.  Oh, God, I drugged him.”  
  


“You didn’t have a choice.” M said, “It’s what I would’ve done.”

 

Jack remarked, “Yes, but you’re a raging psychopath.” he leant over, stroking Ianto’s cheek, “Come on, baby… wake up.”

 

A hand shot up and gripped his arm as a set of furious, but confused blue eyes opened.

 

“Well, I’ll just leave you two darling lovebirds to it, shall I?” M smirked, waving, then left.

 

Jack’s heart jumped.  He was in trouble.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think, I love feedback:)  
> Question Of The Chapter (I'mma start doing these): What do you think of M and her characterisation?


	10. Chapter Nine

“I told you.” Ianto hissed as he sat up, looking around the makeshift medical bay, “I told you I didn’t want this.”   
  


Jack sighed, “It happened, okay?  You alright?”

 

“Well, my mind’s clear right now, yeah.  But also, no.  I’m so angry right now, I just--” Ianto clambered off the bed, “I just don’t want to look at you right now.”

 

Jack looked hurt, “Ianto…” he touched his boyfriend’s shoulder, but was shrugged off, “Look, I’m sorry that I had to take your free will like that, but I had no choice.”

 

“There’s always a choice, Jack bloody Harkness!” he shouted, voice shrill.

 

Jack heaved a sigh, “I know you’re pissed with me right now, but you’ve gotta understand--”   
  


“Understand what?!?” Ianto shouted.

 

Jack yelled back, “I can’t lose you, dammit!  Not now, not ever!”   
  


“Well, it’s going to happen.” Ianto crossed his arms, venom lacing his words, “Take me home.”

 

“Ianto--”   
  


His boyfriend held up a hand, silencing him before he could say anything, “No.  J-Just… Just take me back to my apartment, sir.  Please.”

 

“Okay.” Jack swallowed, looking like a punished dog.

 

As the two walked past Jonas and M, the two non-humans exchanged a look, M almost upset, but not quite there.

 

When they left the room, M sighed, “Well, that was most certainly eventful.”

 

“Ugh, you could at least be nice about it!” Elle remarked as she helped deliver some rations to various people.

 

M narrowed her eyes, “Says the bitch who poked fun of their relationship when they first swanned in here.”

 

“Look, babe, I’m not trying to start a fight here, but I’m not really comfortable with you being here, with your psychopathic tendencies.  There are kids here, young as eight.” Elle heaved a sigh, “You might go ripper on them.”   
  


M hissed, “Are you chucking me out now, Elle?  I was here before you, maybe  _ you  _ should go.”

 

“You think we’re frightened of you here, but we aren’t.” Elle crossed her arms, coming face-to-face with M, “You’re just a kid acting out.”

 

Suddenly, M pushed Elle up against the closest wall psychokinetically, hearing the other woman wince in pain as her body was dragged upward, air compressing around her throat as she gasped, unable to breathe.

 

“I’m sorry,  _ babe,  _ what did you just say about me?” she growled, then hit the wall beside the other girl, “You’re nothing to me.  I could kill you and every single person here if I wanted.”

 

M found Jonas’ hand gripping her shoulder, his breath in her ear as he commanded, “Let her go.”

 

“Why?” the girl’s hand trembled at her side, “And if you say this isn’t me one more time, I’ll rip out her spine to prove you wrong.”   
  


When he spoke again, his voice was choked, “Because you’re scaring me…”

 

She blinked a few times, the words hitting her hard, like a blow to the chest, and relinquished her grip, seeing Elle fall to her knees, coughing and choking.  Everyone in the warehouse was looking at her with a glare of accusation, and she frowned, emotions niggling in her mind.

 

“I think you do need to leave.” Jonas murmured, and when she turned to him, she saw the tears standing in his pearl-grey eyes.

 

M exhaled, “I admit, I overreacted.”

 

“Can I talk in private with my girlfriend, please?” Jonas asked, and instantly, people filed out, leaving them alone.  He gripped M’s arm, “What the hell are you doing?  You could’ve killed her!”

 

M growled, “She shouldnae pissed me off, then.”

 

“Look, love, why are you like this?” he cupped her cheek with his other hand, and she leant into the warmth of his gloved hand.

 

She gave an uneasy smile, “You know why.”

 

“You weren’t always like this.” his thumb stroked her cheek, “I miss the girl who I knew.”

 

She pulled away, looking angry and hurt, “She’s dead.  That girl was stupid, and she was weak, and she was broken.  I’m better.”   
  


“So what about us?” Jonas asked, voice cracking, tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

She huffed, stroking away the tears, “I still feel the same about you.” she stated flatly, “I mean, I still… I still…”

 

“You still what?” he challenged, and when she said nothing, he scoffed, “You can’t even say it, goddammit!”

 

She stepped forward, pressing her lips to his briefly, then pulling away, letting her face go blank again, “Let’s just leave the relationship drama for Jack and the pretty Welsh one.”

 

“Ianto.”

 

She nodded, “Of course.  Can I stay here?”

 

“No.” he wiped his eyes, “You can’t.  You’re too much of a risk.  I’m sorry.”

 

She frowned, then narrowed her eyes, “When I destroy these Shade sons of bitches, I’m going to leave, and I’m not coming back.  See you.”

  
Jonas’ heart shattered as she walked off, and Elle came over, stroking his back, looking still startled from earlier.

 

“She doesn’t deserve you.” she leant over and kissed him on the cheek, feeling him stiffen.  Elle looked confused for a second, “What’s wrong, baby?”

 

He turned to her, “Elle… I can’t.  M’s back in town and it’s just… it’s complicated.”   
  


“You still love her.” she stated, looking slightly hurt, “Jo, it’s been three years, and she’s been shagging men and women all over the country probably.” she leant forward, biting his earlobe, “You’re allowed to have fun too.”   
  


Jonas grabbed her by the shoulders, “No.  I can’t.  We were a one-time thing.”

 

“Six months is hardly one-time.” she flirted her eyelashes, leaning forward in a way her breasts nearly popped out of her tube top.

 

He couldn’t help the quick glance, but as he looked, he thought of M, and of the girl he had fell in love with years previous.  She had been kinder, gentler, a girl full of hope and a light in darkness.  Then she just started to change.

 

The drug had been one factor in changing M’s personality, and Jonas knew that, and knew that she would stop at nothing to destroy the Shade.

 

\--

 

Ianto was silent for the entire car journey, the air between the couple awkward and uncomfortable.  Jack kept sparing him a glance to check if he was still alive, worried that the drug would hurt him, or turn him as unstable as their liaison to the whole of space.

 

When they reached Ianto’s apartment building, Jack followed the Welshman up the stairs, much to his dismay.

 

“Sir, if it’s quite alright, I’d like some sleep.” Ianto growled, his legs shaking with the effort to not cry.

 

Jack followed after his boyfriend, trying to keep up as Ianto was quite fast, “Look, baby… I’m not leaving you alone.”

 

“I’d rather you didn’t assign me a pet name, sir.” Ianto demanded harshly, then fiddled for his keys, “And I’d also rather you left me alone.”

 

Jack said, “Well, that’s not going to happ--”

 

He was cut off when Ianto rushed into his apartment, shutting and locking the door in his face, sliding down the other side, finally allowing his emotions to crash over him.

 

“Ianto…” Jack pressed his forehead against the door, “Please let me in.”

 

The Welshman choked out, “Just go, okay?  I can’t do this anymore.”   
  


“Wh-What’re you saying?” Jack’s eyes moistened.

 

Ianto wiped his tears away, “I’m saying I don’t want to be in a rela-- I don’t want to be your special friend anymore, Jack.  Now go.”

 

Jack’s heart shattered -- Ianto still believed he was just a shag?  It hurt Jack to think his Ianto believed himself to be so worthless, it tore him apart.

 

But on the other hand, he didn’t want to upset Ianto any further, and walked away, swallowing back his emotions as usual.

 

Ianto heard the footsteps ascend and got to his feet, peering out the window to see Jack heading back to the SUV.  He closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them, he shrieked as he saw a hand gripping his outdoor windowsill, believing that the injections hadn’t worked and that the Shade were haunting him again.

 

He wanted to scream for Jack, and considered it until he heard a grunt and saw M’s face as she pulled herself up.

 

“Hey!” she called, “Could you maybe open up?”

 

Looking mildly terrified, Ianto opened the window and watched as the girl hoisted herself up and into the apartment.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” he growled.

 

She crossed her arms, “Need a place to crash.  Boyfriend kicked me out because I threatened his girltoy.”   
  


“And you assume I’ll let you stay here because…?”

 

She answered, “Because you’re a decent guy.  The hotel owner was rude, and well… short lived.”   
  


“You killed him?” Ianto glared at her.

 

She shrugged, “He was a prick.”

 

“You can’t just kill people.” Ianto snarled, stepping threateningly towards her.

 

She didn’t even flinch, “I do what I want.  But I do need somewhere to stay.”

 

“Fine.” he threw his arms up, “Take the couch.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Well, duh… I wasn’t gonna share the bed with you was I?  Unless you want me to…” she smirked.

 

“Just stop.” suddenly, something piqued Ianto’s interest, “Hey, you know how you’re not really called ‘M’?  Is Jonas using a fake ID too?”   
  


She remarked, “Well, that was random.” and at his glare, she replied, “Jo was born Colin Groberg, his brother Sergeant Lucas Groberg for UNIT.” she paused, “Elle was Anne Taylor.”

 

“And you?” Ianto asked.

 

She smirked, “That’s for me to know and you to never find out.”

 

“Why don’t you want people to know who you were?” the Welshman interrogated, face filled with concern.

 

She shouted back at him, “Because I am not her anymore!  She was innocent and weak, and she’s dead and gone.  I’m M.  That’s who I am.”

 

“Okay, at least give me a bit of backstory.” Ianto pleaded, “Where are you from in Scotland?”

 

She replied, “Actually, I’m not Scottish, not fully.  This accent is something I ret-- picked up.”

 

“Tell me about your family.”

 

She shook her head, “I can’t.  No more bloody questions, okay?”

 

“Okay, fine.” Ianto sighed, then waited a few minutes before miserably uttering, “We broke up.  Jack and I… it’s over.”

 

M sighed, “Bullshit.  You two are too in love.  You’ll fix this.”

 

“Some things can’t be fixed.” Ianto murmured.

 

The girl scoffed skeptically, “My boyfriend and I have universal knowledge being pumped into our brains and I’m a murderous psychopath.”

 

“Well, my boyfriend gets to live forever, and will watch me die, then move on.”   
  


She corrected, “No, he  _ has  _ to live forever.  If it were a choice, he wouldn’t have immortality.”   
  


“Why not?” Ianto crossed his arms.

 

She heaved a sigh, “Living forever is not a gift, Ianto.  It’s watching everyone you care about die around you.  It’s watching civilisations rise and fall, seeing the worst in humanity.  It’s something that Jack and I have in common.  Whilst I’m not immortal, I see timelines, old and new, and God, it is painful.” she paused, “But all I see in your future is Jack.  I see you two, together.”   
  


“What about his?” Ianto questioned, “What do you see in Jack’s?”

 

She answered, “Pain.  Loss.  Grief lasting hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of years.”   
  


“He’ll forget me if he lives that long.” Ianto chewed his lip, “Do you know when I’m going to die?”

 

She nodded, “It’s a fixed moment in time, yes.  But I can’t tell you when and how because you’ll try to avoid it.”

 

“How do you know I’ll try to do that?”

 

She returned solemnly, “Because you’re human.  I know that I’m not going to grow old, but I’m not going to run and hide from it, or try to fight it because I’m as far from human as I could possibly be.”

 

“It’s an act.” Ianto stated, “You’re just a little girl, filled with anger and rage.  Jonas isn’t as cold as you are.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Again with the patronisation.  I’m hardly a little girl.  I’m in my bloody twenties, bloody hell.”

 

“Fuck this…” Ianto got to his feet, “I’m shattered, I’ve had a horrible day, and I need my bleedin’ sleep!”

 

M challenged, “I bet you’ll try to avoid work tomorrow.”   
  


“Very perceptive of you that you can see with your alien mystical powers that I can’t be bothered going to make things awkward in the office with my boy-- my ex.” the Welshman put his hands on his hips.

 

She snarked back, “Of course.  But if Gwenny-poo jumps his bones, then it’ll be immensely more awkward.”

 

“She’s engaged to Rhys.” Ianto brought up.

 

M retorted, “So what?  She’s cheated before.  And it wouldn’t be the first time loverboy has abandoned you.”

 

“Shut up.” Ianto visibly tensed as she mentioned the time Jack up and left the team and him to deal with the horrors of the world whilst he was away travelling with his Doctor.

  
Jack still hadn’t told them what had happened then, and it upset Ianto, knowing his boyfriend --  _ ex --  _ didn’t trust him enough to tell him anything.

 

M noted, “You’re not over him.”

 

“Yes I am, we’re over…” it sounded like a lie to the Welshman, but he tried to convince himself that it was the truth.

 

She shook her head, “Yer fibbing to yourself, pal.  You’re still upset.  If it was over, and you really believed it, you wouldn’t be so broken up about it.”   
  


“I’m fine.” Ianto sighed, “I’m just… I’m just tired.  I’m tired of being used, being his fucktoy, being an alien torture device.  I’m tired of losing.”   
  


M asked, “So what’re you going to do about it?”

 

“What are your plans tomorrow?” Ianto countered.

 

M smirked, “Mm… planning our first date already, eh, Jones?” Ianto glared at her, “Well, I was thinking about visitin’ Jonas, telling him that I know about him and Elle.”

 

“Is that wise?” he asked, “Knowing you, you’ll end up killing somebody.”

 

M frowned, “I have some self control, you know, Ianto.”

 

Ianto couldn’t help the burst of laughter that erupted from him as he mulled over M’s words, whilst the girl looked very unamused.

 

“You, the same girl who murdered people whilst I was forced to watch…” Ianto crossed his arms once the laughter subsided, “Supposedly have self control?”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Yes, I have made some mistakes.”

 

“You killed people.” the amusement in Ianto’s tone disappeared, and a grave expression came onto his face.

 

She shrugged, “You guys kill aliens every day.”

 

“Only the ones that threaten the humans.” Ianto retorted bitterly.

 

M narrowed her eyes, “Honestly?  You think that out of  _ every  _ alien you have executed, they’re all dangerous and evil?”   
  


“It doesn’t matter.” Ianto dismissed, M’s words provoking doubt in him.

 

She asked, “Why?  Because they don’t look human?”

 

“Because they aren’t!  I don’t mean to sound horrible, but Torchwood’s priority is protecting the human race!” Ianto yelled.

 

She challenged, “Well, perhaps they should change their priorities.”   
  


“Like you care.” Ianto scoffed, “Right.  I don’t want to talk about this.  What are you doing tomorrow?”

 

She replied blankly, “I told you.”

 

“Well, I’ll come with.” he crossed his arms, “I’m not going to work.”

 

M arched an eyebrow, “Are you sure?  Sounds like you’re avoiding your problems.”

 

“Nope, just avoiding my ex… my ex whatever he is.” Ianto frowned, “God, I’m miserable.”   
  


M sighed, “I’m not sure what to say in this situation so… ‘you deserve better’, ‘there’s plenty more fish in the sea’, ‘maybe you can fix it’.  Will those do?”

 

“Not really.” Ianto yawned, “I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

 

M nodded, “G’night.”

 

“Night.” Ianto walked to his room, his mind racing with the thought that he was wrong for breaking up with Jack, or for letting M stay.

  
He would deal with his decisions in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to follow my Twitter @WhatTheWentz, my Instagram @poison3dy0uth and my tumblr I-am-the-poisoned-youth.


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